Having completed the first term (successfully)? and braved Whitcombes sale - still a few after sale specials available - we now have time to study the results of a 1970 survey that is just in:

• The women customers were better-looking than the men.
• Of the students who were successful in final examinations about 100% bought books from Whitcombes.
• Of those who were unsuccessful in finals because they failed to buy prescribed textbooks
  • about 100% failed to buy them from Witcombes and of these - about 50% couldn't afford to because they had spent the money on grog and/or women
  • about 45% were women and spent it on making themselves better-looking than men.
  • about 5% were unable to sit because they were in gaol for not paying their book shop bills.

Looking at our remaining stocks in some subjects we are worried about you and we suggest:

• that you rush in now and buy what you know you ought to have
• Or that you knock off the grog and come in when your head is cleared
• Or (if you ar a woman) that you get a man to pay for your books
• Or (if your can't pay your bill) that you arrange with our friendly Credit Manager to be at liberty at the critical times
• Or (if you decide that the whole thing's hopeless) that you give up lectures, etc. and at least enjoy yourself. We have tons of jolly good (non-text) books here which many find handy for reading.