Salient. Victoria University Student Newspaper. Volume. 34, Number 8. 1971
Subterrane an Homesick Blues & the Blond Waltz
Subterrane an Homesick Blues & the Blond Waltz
let me say this about Justine — she was 5 ft 2 & had Hungarian eyes — her belief was that if she could make it with Bo Diddley — she could get herself straight — now Ruthy — she was different — she always wanted to see a cock fight & went to Mexico City when she was 17 & a runaway castoff — she met Zonk when she was 18 — Zonk came from her home town— at least that's what he said when he met her — when they busted up, he said he never heard of the place but that's beside the point—anyway these three—they make up the Realm Crew. . .i met them exactly at their table & they took 2 years of sanction from me but i never talk much about it myself — Justine was always trying to prove she existed as if she really needed proof— Ruthy — she was always trying to prove that Bo Diddley existed & Zonk he was trying to prove that he existed just for Ruthy but later on said that he was just trying to prove he existed to himself— me? i started wondering about whether anybody existed but i never pushed it too much— especially when Zonk was around — Zonk hated himself & when he got too high he thought everybody was a mirror
one day i discovered that my secrets were puny — i tried to build them up but Justine said "this is the Twentieth Century baby — i mean you know — like they dont do that anymore — why dont you go walk on the street —that'll build up your secrets — it's no use to spend all these hours a day doing it in a room —you losing living —i mean like if you wanna be some kinda charles atlas, go right ahead. . .but you better head off for muscle beach — mean you just might as well snatch jayne mansfield — become king of your kind & start some kind of secret gymna sium". . .after being ridiculed, to such a degree — i decided to leave my secrets alone & Justine — Justine was right — my secrets got bigger — in fact they grew so big that they outweighed my body. . .i hitchhiked alot in those days & you had to be ready —you never knew what kind of people you were gonna meet on the road
i sang in a forest one day & someone said it was three o'clock — that nite when i read the newspaper, i saw that a tenement had been set aflame & that three firemen & nineteen people had lost their lives — the fire was at three o'clock too. . .that nite in a dream i was singing again — i was singing the same song in the same forest & at the same time —in the dream there was also a tenement biasing. . .there was no fog & the dream was clear — it was not worm analyzing as nothing is worth analysing — you learn from a conglomeration of the incredible past —. whatever experience gotten in any way whatsoever — controlling at once the present tense of the problem — more or less like a roy rogers & trigger relationship of which under present western standards is an impossibility — me singing — i moved from the forest — frozen in a moment & picked up & moved towards me —i, still singing & this building still burning. . .needless to say — i & the building met & as instantly as it stopped, the motion started again — me, singing & the building burning — there i was — in all truth —singing in front of a raging fire — i was unable to do any thing about this fire — you see — not because i was lazy or loved to watch good fires — but rather because both myself & the fire were in the same Time all right but we were not in the same Space — the only thing we had in common was that we existed in the same moment. . .i could not feel any guilt about just standing there singing for as i said i was picked up & moved there not by my own free will but rather by some unbelievable force — i told Justine about this dream & she said "that's right — lot of these people would feel guilty & close their eyes to such a happening — these are people that interrupt & interfere in other people's lives — only God can be everywhere at the same Time & Space — you are human — sad & silly as it might seem". . .i got very drunk mat afternoon & a mysterious confusion entered into my body — "when i hear of the bombings, i see red & mad hatred" said Zonk— "when i bear of the bombings, i see the head of a dead nun" said i— Zonk said "what?". . .i have never taken my singing — let alone my other habits — very seriously —ever since then — i have just accepted it — exactly as i would any other crime
the soldier with the long beard says go ask questions my son but the shaggy orphan says that lt's all a hype — the bearded soldier says what's a hype? & the shaggy orphan says what's a son? the taste of bread is common yet who can & who cares to tell someone else what it tastes like — it tastes like bread that's what it tastes like. . .to find out why Bertha shouldnt push the man off the flying trapeze you dont find out by thinking about it — you find out by being Bertha — that's how you find out
let me say this about Justine — Ruthy & Zonk — none of them understood each other at all — Justine —she went off to join a rock n roll band & Ruthy — she decided to fight cocks professionally & when last heard from. Zonk was working in the garment district. . .they all lived happily ever after
where i live now, the only thing that keeps
the area going is tradition — as you can figure
out — it doesnt count very much — everything
around me rots. . .i dont know bow long it has
been this way, but if it keeps up, soon
i will be an old man — & i am only 15 — the only
job around here is mining— but jesus, who wants
to be a miner. . .i refuse to be part of such
a shallow death — everybody talks about the middle
ages as if it was actually in the middle ages —
i'll do anything to leave here — my mind
is running down the river — i'd sell my
soul to the elephant — i'd cheat the sphinx —
i'd lie to me conqueror... tho you might
not take this the right way, i would even
sign a chain with the devil. . .please
dont send me anymore grandfather clocks —
no more books or care packages...if youre going to
send me something, send me a key — i shall
find the door to where it fits, if it takes
me the rest of my life