page 7

A Saga in 3 Parts

It was a dark and stormy night and eight cold figures made their way to the Union building. 4 am and the scene is set for a classic Confrontation.

Enter left eight travel worn figures.

1st figure; Man we can stop here for the night.

2nd figure; Yea, Man.

3rd figure; Yea, Man. And read some poetry maybe.

Enter Right the Villian.

Villian; What are you doing here. (Aside) Maybe I can sell these suckers some bad acid.

5th figure; We want to stay the night the house I'm at is too far away.

6th figure; And mine's too full.

Enter Giles Villian; Piss off yous Guys you'll ruin our groovy trip; man, I mean, men.

Villian; Yea, Piss off, else I'll have to call Boyd.

4th figure; No, anything but Boyd.

3rd figure; Even the Cops but not Boyd.

1st figure; Who the fuck is Boyd?

Enter Boyd having been phoned off stage.

Boyd; I'm Boyd.

8th figure; Who?

Boyd; Boyd.

7th figure; I'm Shadbolt.

Giles Villian; Who?

Shadbolt; Shadbolt.

The Villian; I'm the Villian.

John Villian; A trip for $16 (cheap).

Boyd; What about the cleaners.

Vukkuab; Yea the Cleaners, man.

6th figure; We'll move out for them.

Giles Villian; How about a compromise, we'll get you billets with some freaky people close by.

Shadbolt; We are men of principle, we will not compromise with beaurocratic administrations that suppress the right of all mean to be free and equal in the sight of the new left.

Figures; Hear, hear.

Boyd; Graeme, I think we'll have to call the Police.

The Villian; That wouldn't be very cool.

Boyd; Well we can't have this king of thing going on in my—ah our—Union. I mean to say think of the cleaners. We might have to cancel the Hops if we don't clear this up.

The Villian; That would ruin all Arts Festival, we can't have that. Yes I'll have to call the cops.

Shadbolt; We men of principle aren't scared by the coercive forces of the Law. Call them.

Figures; Hear, hear.

3rd figure; Poetry in the cells, even Rubin didn't pull that one.

Margaret Bryson (over phone in background); Well if Mr Boyd, I moan Graeme thinks it's necessary, then I suppose it's necessary.

The Villian; We don't want any arrests.

Enter the Police; Hello, Hello, Hello, what have we here then?

Figures; Oink, oink.

Police; Hello, Hello, Hello, what have we here then!

1st Cop; Shadholt, remember me, I arrested you at the airport, remember.

2nd Cop; Shadbolt, remember me, I arrested you for saying Bullshit, remember.

3rd Cop; Shadholt, Remember me, I'm arresting you for technical breach of the trespass act.

4th Cop (arriving late); Hello, Hello, Hello....

Boyd; Don't forget the other seven.

Phone rings in background. Bryson; Remember I don't want any arrests made.

Late that morning, a spontaneous student riot is being planned by the Spartacists.

Logan goes to see Taylor.

Taylor; Hullo William, a bit of bother this whole business.

Logan; Gooday Danny, yes, it should never have happened.

Taylor; Well Boyd seemed to think it was the only thing that could have been done although I must admit I'm not entirely happy about it (leans over the table) What do you think ?

Logan; Well as far as I can ascertain of student opinion there could be a riot and sleep-ins every night if we're not careful.

Taylor; Do you really think so?

Logan; I know that Some Students are very wild. I don't know any of them personally, but I have heard Rumours.

Taylor; Well what do you think' I should do?

Logan; I think the best solution would be to give an assurance that the Cops won't be called unless there is threat to life, and that the Social Events will go on no matter what happens, and make a statement that the University doesn't want to press charges.

Taylor; Yes, I think that is the only reasonable compromise.

Logan; Yes, I think you're right Danny, it is the only answer. Well I must be off down to meet the Dominion and Evening Post reporters, see you.

Taylor; Goodbye Bill, thanks for your help.

Later still in the Exec room.

Phelps; I think we have to back up Graeme, not that he did the right thing but he was the authority in charge, and to undermine that authority would lead to anarchy...

Knox; Well Bryson's made a prick of herself over this issue, coming out against Nesbitt like this. She should have been there herself. What else could they do?

Phelps; Yes, I think we will have to get Exec. to back him up. It might force Bryson to resign.

Knox; She wouldn't, she's too cunning for that.

Enter Bryson; What a stupid thing calling the cops on to campus. I wish I knew why they didn't bother to contact me.

Knox; Don't worry about it Marg. We'll see you through.

Phelps; We've all got the students' interest at heart. Everything will turn out best for them.