Other formats

    Adobe Portable Document Format file (facsimile images)   TEI XML file   ePub eBook file  


    mail icontwitter iconBlogspot iconrss icon

Salient. Victoria University Student Newspaper. Volume 33 No. 11. 22 July 1970

Inside Right

Inside Right

Are you an avid reader of the finely-honed prose of the Motoring Correspondent of a local newspaper? If so, here's your chance to become better acquainted with the gentleman. The person who sends in the first correct entry form will receive a life-size Motoring Correspondent wrapped in a Mini-Minor. It's easy. Just list in order of merit the qualities you most look for in a Motoring Correspondent and post your completed entry to Salient. (The judge's decision will be final but correspondents may be entered into if they're of the right gender).

A.Judgement inversely proportional to advertising.
B.Sycophantic prose style.
C.The ability to drink and drive.
D.The ability to restrain comment on one model's faults until the next comes out.
E.The total inability to master any other field of journalism save the Social Page.

(Adapted from Private Eye).

The Salient Reviews Editor swears it's true: you can't get into the Cinerama Theatre with bare feet.

Our Police Reporter watched the Trentham police cadets stage a demonstration at the Training School recently. A scruffy lot in jeans and football jerseys and carrying placards were effectively 'moved along' by the cadets. The whole thing went very well and a splendid time was had by all—save the cadet 'demonstrator' who got roughed up and was subsequently taken to Hutt Hospital in an ambulance.

A demon, a brace of martyrs and a small host of saints to the correspondent to the Catholic weekly newspaper Zealandia who wrote:

One very positive advantage of the recent greatly accelerated plunge into obscenity is this—it reveals as nothing else could the sickness of man; specifically, original and actual sin. That people can be found to actually defend and even praise attitudes of mind and activities leading straight to Hell serves to draw the line very clearly between the City of God and the City of Satan. It is in times like these that saints appear. I hope they come soon.

More scenes from the life of tousle-haired revolutionary Robin Blackburn:

On arriving in Manila during a recent visit to the Philippines Blackburn was greeted by a crowd of admiring students clamouring to know if he had met the famous philosopher and revolutionary Alexander Cockburn, co-author of Student Power. Somewhat taken aback, Blackburn pointed out that he was a co-author with Cockburn of the book, whereupon he was whisked onto a platform and urged to address an excited crowd.

After a brisk impromptu speech Blackburn was appalled to hear his sponsor announce: "And now Comrade Blackburn will lead us against the last bastion of imperialist aggression—the American Embassy." Whereupon the mob surged towards a ferocious line of troops-the very same who had shot dead six students earlier in the week.

As the heroic ex-lse lecturer was pushed forward to what seemed certain death, the situation was saved by a student who cried out: "Comrades, this is suicide! Let us attack the Hilton Hotel instead."

At this, the mob sensibly changed direction, much to the relief of the hitherto armchair Marxist.

(Private Eye again)