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Salient. Victoria University of Wellington Students' Newspaper. Volume 31, Number 22. September 17, 1968

Randy Andy

Randy Andy

Sir—In the depths of another crushing and demoralising defeat at the polls I feel moved to pen this great epistle.

Of Curry little useful can be said other than that he has already invested his $400 honorarium in shares of Dominion Breweries.

To the two hundred odd misguided individuals that voted for Peretz—you at least have the consolation of having voted for a three time loser too.

To the two hundred odd— extremely odd students that voted for Dan Bradshaw, take heart! Dan is rumoured to have overcome his post-election suicidal tendencies and is reported to be planning an active year as Deputy Social Controller.

As for the odds and ends that voted for Mowbray and McSporran—well at least you voted.

But what about THE candidate? What happened to Devon Biggs? Here we had the ideal presidential candidate—ultra conservative, pro-Vietnam and ultra irresponsible. A few week's prior to the election Devon said to me "Andy you old fox—how about standing for President and taking votes away from those Law faculty bastards so I can get in." Well this was too good an opportunity to miss—the chance of getting a President with personality, purpose, poise and a policy to boot. The election results are now history but who will ever forget this monumental boob? Long after the great nightshirt blunder is forgotten, when certain Exec, members no longer whisper about the Omega catering catastrophe and when that great old political campaigner Randy Andy has crossed the great divide students will pause and reflect on the Biggs administration that never was. A loss only to be exceeded if Bullshit Castle was ever to be annexed by the Chatham Islands. Oh tragedy!

To those 207 intellectual greats and assorted geniuses that placed their trust in me—you will not be forgotten. As I leave these hallowed halls, enriched by all that is good and holy, I will pause in my new job as Publicity Manager for the Apple and Pear Marketing Board and think of you with tears (crocodile) in my eves and a case of apples in my hands.

"Full many an apple is born to fruit unseen,

And waste its sweetness on the desert air."

Andy Easton.