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Salient. Victoria University of Wellington Students' Newspaper. Volume 31, Number 21. September 10, 1968

Left Out Side

page 12

Left Out Side

At last the scoffers amongst us are stilled. Doubters, cease! For the use of the upright pole at the vehicle entrance to Rankine Brown-Easterfield courtyard has been revealed to all Not, as they once said, for firemen to slide down, but (a fact known only since a fire nigh the end of last term) a filter. It keeps nasty red engines out and lots nice cars in. This is a Good Thing, as you will realise, because if fire engines were allowed to the front of Rankine Brown, students would climb down ladders, from windows, with books — thereby flogging them, as students will.

* * *

Incidentally, the efficiency of the fire brigade on this occasion warmed the cockles, whatever they might be, of the heart, as the engine flapped up and down Glasgow Street looking for the university.

* * *

Heard in the library. "Ssh, don't talk in here. Tell me in French Reading Knowledge."

* * *

Condomal slogan: "Buy Me And Stop One".

* * *

We have discovered a Plot. A Naughty Plot.

A New Zealand Government Plot. Need we say more? We will.

Not, as you might think, the Holyoake Compost Plot, for heaping upon.

Another one. Consider:

In 1966 a census was taken. You, me, everyone.

This year the results were published. Vol. I—what is the population of New Zealand, and where? Other volumes—other lesser guff.

Would you like to find out what is the population of New Zealand and when? To study, perhaps, demographic geograply?(People do worse things.)

You Cannot.

There are no copies left.

Is it to be reprinted? No, it is said.

What, we ask, is the government trying to hide? Ah, haven't vou noticed — New Zealand Is Empty.

Apart from VUW students, Prime Ministered by a brown paper effigy of a Mr K. Holyoake, whose actual person has joined the curiously-clept brain drain to become Prime Minister for Planning, Mauritius.

Ask yourselves, lads and lasses, before it is too late.

How many of your friends are brown paper effigies

Are you? Try folding yourself and see.

* * *