Respondez vous s'il vous plait

A Science French student appears to have a perfect attendance record, but did not answer when called upon five times to translate during last Wednesday's lecture. An independent investigation has shown that the student, Mr R. Sole has not paid his Student Assn fee yet either.

Fundamental ailment

Pertaining to a prominent politician with bowels attached to larynx—

"No sooner said than dung!" how about "Big bladder-mouth!"?

Accommodating —

A letter was received recently by the Accommodation Committee of the Students' Association from Missions to Seamen saying they were short on partners for social functions; it was wondered if parties from girls' hostels would be interested in going along.

The letter was referred to Victoria House and Helen Lowry Hall.

Vatican roulette

Headline from Dominion (24/7/68): "Pope Firm on Birth Control."

Focus

We find most programmes absolutely boring but we dare not switch off. On the two occasions our set has broken down I became pregnant. So now we watch until the white spot disappears or one of us has dropped off to sleep!—Sunday Mirror.

Waste not, want . . .

"Alasdair considers this an imitation of reality, and with her is able to overcome his impotence Intercourse works wonders for her, too, although her reaction to his subsequent withdrawal is mixed"—Theatre review in Camden Borough News.