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Salient. Victoria University of Wellington Students' Newspaper. Volume 31, Number 18. July 30, 1968

Devon Biggs President

Devon Biggs President

Devon Biggs President

Devon Biggs
President

In the past, only mugs have stood for President. I have decided to change this. If the establishment crumbles and I am elected. I shall:—

• Convert the Law Library into a public lavatory for dogs;

• Abolish the monarchy and/or declare New Zealand a republic;

• Deport Mayor Love, demolish all Petone except the hotels, and relocate this university on fiat land.

• Open a fund to buy fertiliser for John Hale's undernourished beard;

• Confer an honorary LL.D on Ho Chi Minh;

• Nationalise the Chineseowned Waterside Worker's Union;

• Install a portable toothpaste-vending machine for Niel Wright's teeth at forum:

• Sack Bill Logan and replace him with Brigadier Gilbert;

• Erect a statue of a seagull with a statesman perched on its head outside Rankine-Brown;

• Appoint Paul Peretz Reichskommisar fur Kelburn;

• Purchase an all-embracing machine for student politicians with all-embracing policies;

• Send all polar bears back to the Cook Islands Haastily;

• Cause Salient to be printed in suitably perforated rolls;

• Advocate elocution lessons to remedy Norm Kirk's whistle;

• Legalise pot for Gerard Currie;

• Resign at the first sign of rain.