Salient. Victoria University of Wellington Students' Newspaper. Volume 31, Number 18. July 30, 1968
Devon Biggs President
Devon Biggs President
In the past, only mugs have stood for President. I have decided to change this. If the establishment crumbles and I am elected. I shall:—
• Convert the Law Library into a public lavatory for dogs;
• Abolish the monarchy and/or declare New Zealand a republic;
• Deport Mayor Love, demolish all Petone except the hotels, and relocate this university on fiat land.
• Open a fund to buy fertiliser for John Hale's undernourished beard;
• Confer an honorary LL.D on Ho Chi Minh;
• Nationalise the Chineseowned Waterside Worker's Union;
• Install a portable toothpaste-vending machine for Niel Wright's teeth at forum:
• Sack Bill Logan and replace him with Brigadier Gilbert;
• Erect a statue of a seagull with a statesman perched on its head outside Rankine-Brown;
• Appoint Paul Peretz Reichskommisar fur Kelburn;
• Purchase an all-embracing machine for student politicians with all-embracing policies;
• Send all polar bears back to the Cook Islands Haastily;
• Cause Salient to be printed in suitably perforated rolls;
• Advocate elocution lessons to remedy Norm Kirk's whistle;
• Legalise pot for Gerard Currie;
• Resign at the first sign of rain.