page 14

Pettipoint

Heh Heh. Sorry kids (those that were here last year). Thought you'd be able to read your Salient without the ignorant, snide remarks of Latent, didn't you? Never mind you can always ask the editor for a copy with this part cut out. You won't get it, but you can always ask.

* * *

Greetings to all young freshers. You are now entering that exciting place, the university. Where mind meets mind, to say nothing of bodies, and from which you will depart wiser, better, and of broader intellect than when you entered. To which you can bring your prejudices and suppositions, meet others with same views and depart with them stronger than ever. Where you will meet all those people who will be useful to you in later life, like husbands, and so on.

* * *

Now you are at university you need to know the IN words. A good word is 'Apathy.' It is usually used by those who have aspirations in student polities, and refers to those who do not have aspirations in student politics. Others would use the word 'Wise,' but that's a matter of personal preference.

Remember 'Exec,' short for 'Executive.' Isn't that a wonderful title? If you act in the right manner over the next couple of years you may be elected one of the 13 members. If you don't you may get some units.

'CAF'—but that won't give you any trouble.

Then you must remember the In topics of conversation. What does one hear on a tour of the tables in the caf? The hard drive of a religious discussion? A brilliant exposition and discussion of New Zealand foreign policy? An argument about the state of the country's economy? Yes sometimes. Like when some young fresher is there to be impressed.

As often as not the films on in town who is going to bed with whom, last night's tv programme, or what NZUSA is doing. Subjects which require the subtle wit and piercing mind of the university-trained man or woman.

* * *

The state legislature in Georgia, USA. voted for the exclusion of one of its newly-elected members, a Mr. Bond. It seems that this evil renegade, this dastardly scum, had different opinions from the majority as to the wisdom of United States foreign policy. And so to all traitors. Now I know why the Labour Party doesn't oppose the sending of troops to Vietnam. They're afraid the Government may of them out of the House.

* * *

How to make informed, intelligent, useful comment on our foreign policy. Take one chain and a padlock, go to your nearest Parliamentary Buildings (available in all good democracies) and attach yourself firmly thereto, After some time an Official will come and, seizing the chain firmly, will sever it with a swift closing of bolt-cutter jaws.

The surrounding journalists will thereupon record your likeness upon a piece of photographic paper, and distribute this into the homes of the Multitude. This Multitude, upon looking at the picture and, in the case of some, reading the Words beneath, will then change such views as they may have had to those recommended by the Better Views Bureau, address c/- The Pillars, Parliament Buildings.

* * *

Subtle, they are, oh, subtle. "p100 omit £6-0-0 substitute £6-10-0," quoth Victoria University of Wellington corrections to calendar, 1966, queething of the students' association fee. Well, I suppose that it is one way of letting the multitudes know. Cunning, would you not agree (?), of exec to decide the issue just before finals, to stifle that unpopular thing — disagreement. Not that this exec. a crowd of strange folk if ever there was one, seems to do much else.