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Thurbage: Pettifarce

Some of you will be delighted to know that seven of our thirteen member executive have been returned, unopposed, to lead us.

The last minute power struggle for sinecures was enlivened by the juggling of two new posts. Women's Representative, who has had nothing to do for years now, has been replaced by an Education Officer. The effect of this change is that in future a male or a female can have nothing to do.

Social controller has been replaced by a position known as Accommodations Officer. Fortunately he will have nothing to do as there is already a full-time accommodation bureau in Stud. Ass. Never mind, it'll mean a taxi home in the evenings.

The Secretary, the. Treasurer, the Publications Officer (why officer?). House Committee Chairman (he polices the common room and turns the television off—an outstanding position), and Sports Representative have also been returned unopposed. These people have no election policy—no election promises. They will hold sway over a gaggle of committees and command an impressive range of filing cabinets.

They will be experienced air travellers by the end of the year. Last year, important members of the student executive pleaded a persuasive case for having air fares to Auckland. They had to be fresh and alert for the meetings and no one, but no one (except ordinary old students) can sleep on the train. So they were at parties till four o'clock on the morning of the flight and were an hour late for the meeting. Total cost to the students of this University—two return air fares to Auckland.

Most executive positions are decided about one minute before nominations close. All interested parties foregather in the executive room. Well, it isn't the executive room any longer, the executive room has been transferred into the magazine library upstairs and the subscriptions to the magazines cancelled.

ID cards which give us concessions in municipal conveniences are glued up in the old exec. room. Anyway they gather in the exec. room and wait and see who is standing for what position. Then they nominate themselves.

It is not uncommon for frantic nominees to rush into the foyer calling for a nominator and a seconder, seconds before nominations close. It's heart-warming to see such forethought. Some of our perennials have moved on to postgraduate student fund spending on the NZUSA level.

I have no doubt that they will throw their hair and hands up in horror, "after all, it's not our fault that no one else stood, is it?" It's not our fault that you stood.