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10 Rules for Exec. Candidates

So you want to get on Exec. For those entertaining such ambitions I feel bound to give some tactical advice.

Student politics is an extraordinarily serious business. To get to the top does not wholly depend on popularity and organising ability. Sheer animal cunning is infinitely more important. One must be ruthless, discarding helpful "friends" like last year's worn-out and ill-smelling socks.

The situation may look bleak for freshers, but a sound political foundation can be laid in the first year. Select and prestigious clubs constitute a good primary ground for politicking. The job of the aspiring fresher here is to be a voice. Tirelessly proclaim, declare and disseminate your views. Ignore the yawns and rampant interjections and learn to stifle opposition.

The large, rambling organisation is an excellent field for future block-voting. Proceed carefully here and go through the disagreeable business of putting in some labour for the club. Leaders are constantly on the look-out for mugs to do their messages, rearrange furniture and make supper.

With a little tenacity you can ingratiate yourself with them. By the second year, time will be ripe for rigging a nomination on to the committee.

In August the executive subcommittees ratify new members. Be smart and join about five of them, for it is here that the power structure in its embryonic form begins. Entry forms are available from Stud. Ass. office. Again, do as little as possible and say plenty.

For those who have neglected to participate in these boring functions there are plenty of other strategic moves prior to a meteoric rise to the top. These have the advantage of being workable regardless of years at varsity.

Conduct a fierce and controversial correspondence with the Salient editors and never sign with a pseudonym. To get your photo in is also a smooth manoeuvre. Above all become known and possibly hated.

Follow up this campaign by airing your views at Forum. Be careful not to come out as an extremist on highly contentious issues. For instance, a strongly pro- or anti American view on Vietnam is not helpful. In other words be stimulating, but politically elusive.

The next thing is to cultivate acquaintanceships with the ingroup. (N.B. friendship is nigh impossible on a reciprocal basis.) There is no need for subtlety as this is a legitimate political occupation.

From them you can acquire a complete knowledge of the intrigues within Exec. Who is on speaking terms with whom, the bids for power about to be brought off, and the positions likely to fall empty. Practice using with aplomb such esoteric terms as NZUSU, WUS, ISC, MUM, and NUTS.

It is now propitious to insinuate yourself into the power pyramid. Delicately dissect the reputations of all on Exec. Neither fact nor true association is relevant. However, if face to face with the current victim execute a rapid volte face. Lick the dust off his boots, fawn upon him, and pander to his opinions of the other members of Exec.

In short, keep your shoulder to the wheel and ear to the ground. Be a fatuous little busy-body, dabbling in everything and doing nothing.

Have a party and show the sponsors what a fine extroverted mixer you can be. But remember, invite only Activists (with a capital A).

All that remains is to await an opportunity of co-option and/or the elections. Get nominated by the exec. member whose "yes-man" you are and shrewdly organise the propaganda.

The dress rehearsal is over and we all await the unveiling of Exec member Jack Student.

You are now fortunate enough to know the complete ramifications of student politics. No mean achievement when it takes many would-be candidates several years of dead-end searching before retiring in final disillusionment.

P.M.C.