"The Sexless Topless"

An article by B. J. Southam, Associate Editor of Canta.

Ain't no pervert in me matey. I don't get a great drooling thrill out of bare nipples bracing themselves against the breeze. No! Quite the reverse. It leaves me quite cold sexually. And being a healthy young man in the most puritan of western societies this is a relief.

Up till now the sight of a firm and partly-revealed bust does all the adverts hint it'll do to me, and so countless energy, time and money is expended on the chase, so profitable to our economic system, but not so profitable to me there being the usual sadness afterwards and all that.

Now that there is a possibility of the sheep shearing themselves, I will at last have comparative peace for all the suggestion, all the mystery, all that exciting, charming, essential femininity is to be revealed. My imagination will go to sleep and all those little stimulations will grind to a standstill (as will most of our society). You disagree? You think that they will be as exciting charming, and sexually stimulating as ever, even more so?

It's as simple as this. The naked female body is not sexually stimulating to the male! But little suggestions, low necklines, slits up the sides of dresses to reveal a bit of thigh—all these set the old glands going. I realize of course that various virgins or those who make love with the light out will disagree, but that's their problem. All I can do is to point to a nudist camp. All those bare female bodies and not one male reacting physically.

Yes. Without a doubt by exposing the breast, females are committing mass suicide. This might add weight to the hypothesis that was being aired at the time of the "sack" (that dress designers are homosexuals who secretly hate women and want to destroy their attractiveness to men). It will also eliminate one category from the eternal question of "who do women dress for? Other women, themselves, or men?"

It is interesting to note that this regression to the primitive had its origin in America. Oscar Wilde's famous description of that land of promises (the only country to pass from barbarism to decadence without the intervention of civilisation) would therefore seem to be still relevant today.

So, women of the western world (particularly those in this little bourgeois backwater of it)—disrobe and you destroy! Bare your breasts and there will be a lot of males boozing on, oblivious to your existence (after the initial shock of course). I certainly will be peacefully pursuing other pastures at last free from the punch of my gonads. Hopefully I await the summer. Exited: Left to start writing "The Decline and Fall of the Western World").