University Council Song

Tune: The Admiral's song from HMS Pinafore. The song comes from the Melbourne University Labour Club's 1947 revue "Left turns".

My family's in money up to it's ears.
We couldn't spend it all in a thousand years;
I give it away in stacks and stacks,
But only to avoid the income tax.
I gave it away with a hand so free
I gave it away with a hand so free
That they put me on the council of the Varsity
That they put me on the council of the Varsity

I own green acres, clean and neat,
But I do all my farming in Featherston Street,
I get my money from meat and wool
Though I couldn't tell a sheep from anyone's bull.
My pastoral interest's plain to see
My pastoral interest's plain to see
So they put me on the Council of the Varsity
So they put me on the Council of the Varsity

Mining metals is my company's game
We believe in keeping our workers tame;
To save research for the BHP
I founded a chair in metallurgy.
For this noble act they rewarded me,
For this noble act they rewarded me,
And put me on the Council of the Varsity.
And put me on the Council of the Varsity.

At council meetings, when I'm there,
They wheel me up in an invalid chair;
I can't hear a thing, so it's rather a bore,
But I vote the same way as the Vice Chancellor.
For I was already ninety three
For I was already ninety three
When they put me on the Council of the Varsity.
When they put me on the Council of the Varsity.

So citizens all, whoever you be,
If you want a degree at the Varsity,
Concentrate on your stocks and shares,
And give us the money to found new chairs,
And we'll give you an honorary LL.D.;
And we'll give you an honorary LL.D.;
And put you on the Council of the Varsity.
And put you on the Council of the Varsity.