An Act to make provision for the registration of Dolls on the 10th day of August, 1960, on the premises of the Majestic Cabaret at 9.30 p.m.

1. Short Tickle at Commencement

This Act shall come into farce upon entry into the Majestic Cabaret, Willingness Street, and every Owner shall be bound to comply with the provisions hereof.

2. Interpretation

"Doll" means any adequately stocked female bi-ped with less than four heads, Provided However that in coses where there are more than four heads sex is immaterial.

"Owner". In relation to any doll includes every Law Student who harbours or has a doll in his care for the time being, whether the doll is at large or in confinement, tight and/or loose.

"Local Authority" means the Committee of the Victoria University Low Faculty Club or its duly authorized and oppressed agents.

3. Registration of Dolls

No person shall be entitled lo remain at the rhythmic bacchanalia and perform ecstatically to the oscillations of Don Richardson and his Driads (as prescribed by the Annual Practice) unless such doll has been registered in accordance with the provisions of this Act.

4. Mode of Registering Dolls

Collars and Labels will be issued on payment of the' sum of Two Pounds Ten Shillings (£2/10/-) to any member of the Local Authority.

5. Change of Ownership

Where any doll registered under this Act changes hands (which can only be done with the consent of both parties to this Act—consent being the main ingredient of any Act) the new Owner shall not be liable for any further fee (simple —fi-fo-fum diddle-dee, or otherwise).

6. Prevention of High Daddies

All Owners shall be required to produce dolls at the aforesaid premises for a degrading inspection and dosing.

7. Dangerous Dolls

Any doll exhibiting mischievous or other animal propensities will at the discretion of the Local Authority be pounded and if necessary placed in confinement.

8. Penalties

For any breach of the aforesaid provisions or where any Owner is in the opinion of the Local Authority not doing his utmost to break all laws of licence he shall thereupon be liable to examination and if he returns a negative swab and is hereby certified to be a misfit either as a Law Student or as a doll he or she will be subjected to a course in the Lex Romana at the Smithsonian Institute under the tutelage of such well-known Kurt Hardie-Fodies as Confessor Acheman (on a flying visit from Samoa), Doc' D.B., B.B.C. Bottles Jingles; I.C.I. (Hoots Mon), Blue Bells, and "Orge" and shall be liable to he Cained.

9. Repeals and Savings

The enactments specified in the Schedule to this Act are hereby repelled.

Schedule

Enactments Repelled

Frustrated Contacts Act.

Indecent Publications Act.

Law Students Reform Act.

Reciprocal Enforcement of Emotions Act.

Liquor Laws 300 B.C.

—From a V.U.W. Law faculty club invitation.