Help!

And even after reading all this I am not a Socialist. I don't like Communism. I don't believe in the liquidation of opposition. I am the product of a Capitalist state.

I hope I am not a dirty Fascist swab.

I know Russia is wonderful, that we must exchange visits and that I must try to win her friendship. I know that her "sputnik" and her little dog were up in the sky before anyone else's, especially before the unmentionable American capitalist one.

I know I ought to think, if not to shout "Down with the enemies of the People" and I know that I ought to forget that General of the U.S.S.R. Serov has killed over 20 million Russians because the Fascist Himmler killed 12 million Jews and others.

Perhaps that is an imperialist lie anyway.

But it's all so sad, and I wonder if any of your kind readers can help me to come into line and join the Party?

I have dreams at night, too. I had the misfortune, in England, to see the filthy B.B.C. television production of 1984" (which, of course, Orwell never wrote, or if he did, it was because he was a war-mongering saboteur of a swinish Fascist reactionary bourgeous capitalist plotocratic deviationist worm with indigestion, and not a true Socialist).

I must try to believe that black is white when I am told it is, and that peace is really war, and that the days of decadent Western capitalist democracy are nearly over, and that 2 and 2 make 5. . . .

I must practice shouting Long Live the People, Long Live Our Leader (not old windbag Nash, who isn't a true Socialist either).

May I humbly suggest a new Faculty to help sub-normal, backward scabs like myself?

Perhaps your contributor "S"—as anonymous as Big Brother, and whose blistering hatred of all that is bad stamps him as a true comrade in the struggle, will consent to a professorship to help me to hate, too.

Could we have Hate classes on Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays? And Queen Anne Isn't Dead classes on other days?