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Salient. An Organ of Student Opinion at Victoria College, Wellington, N.Z. Vol. 17, No. 8. May 27, 1953

Crime and Capping

Crime and Capping

Last week, In N.Z.'s No. 1 city, crime hit an all time high. Starting sometime Thursday night things began to happen. With the Friday dawn came the footprints of some bird—worried, police-chief Rgove (pronounced "a small wood") called in a student ornithologist and a double whisky... Puzzled, fuzzy-eyed, shaky-handed, Iva B. Head lipsed "I fwink this . . . this a vwery weir bwird . . . pwossibly of the . . . 'Cappus ..Magnae-Grogae" spwecies. Qwite harmless........If left awone." But Rgove, obviously wanting a bird in hand, went off after a lark. Somehow he ended with salt on his own tail. (Echoes of the bird's night-time marauding came this week from a certain bunch of no-hopers. Question is; are we being Investigated?)

* * *

As an infidel amongst the chosen at the Shrine of the Lustful, Rgove showed careless heroism and the "strong arm" (strike-breaker type Mk 51), as he gave thoughtful advice to the worshippers. Struck by one believer's soulful attitude and complete lack of self-consciousness, a police-sergeant was moved to offer him arrest amongst the cooling bars of his own temple. Trouble was, the soulful one preferred to cling to that which he knew to have a firm foundation; however, with the eloquence of "hot-gospeler" Rgove, he was soon converted. Later it was found that they had bitten off Miles more than Section 78 could chew.

(It is understood, on reliable psychological information, that the Sergeant's speed is due to environment rather than to heredity.)

* * *

On Friday the Niagara gold was do eat the National Bank in the capital. Auckland officials, fearing robbery, felt it would be safer there. Some, however, felt it would be even safer with them for, with the precision of the guillotine, the bullion was lifted from the messengers on the bank steps.

Slipping from a black A70, the bandits tangled with the gold guardians. After a fierce tussle, with the messengers putting up a brave farce, both loot and guardians disappeared with the robbers in various vehicles.

So far nothing has been beard from police headquarters: all is a silence. They appear to have gone from bad to terse. No doubt an arrest is expected and we warn our readers to take every care.

We feel It is our duty to record the actions of a well known solicitor as an example to others. It seems ho thought the robbery was merely on act: he was all set to remove the Ignition key of the getaway car when a sign on the door made him realise that this was the real thing. Thinking that it was hardly cricket he abandoned all ideas of "headline" bravery and scuttled away for a nerve tonic. For his developed sense of sport the bandits are grateful and they commend his actions for study by certain well-meaning but senile minded bodies.—J.B.E.