How to Use the Library

The Fresher of today is provided with so voluminous a multitude of "Guides to the University" with such a jumble of papers, dealing with every cobweb in Victoria—that it la amazing that so vital a subject as the library should be neglected, not the commonplaces of "where to find the Information you require." but—which concerns many more students—where to find the person and the conversation you require.

Let us explain roughly the plan of the library—any experienced library "boreder" will be able to give further Information. We will not deal with those off-shoots of specialisation along the corridor; the sacred precints of Fine Arts and Science are not for the profanities of plain Arts students; no, our tour begins in the main hall, at the left end.

At the table on the Psychological side the V.U.C. Misogynist Club has its headquarters; on the other side congregate the elite of Us opposite—though whether man—or misogynist—haters is not as clear.

The second table on the further side is employed as a receptacle for books; but these books are used, not for information, but for support—of elbows or perhaps of lecture notes. Opposite it is the casual table where Birds of Passage leave their books for the day.

If you need a large reference book that isn't on the shelf, don't get worried—Just look into the last-compartment on this side. Now, peer reverently between the catalogue stands; here, in the dim religious light of absolute devotion, toll the martyrs of the library.

My acquaintance with the other end of the library is slight—but even I can see the advantages of the Venetian blinds at the far end: you can see and are seen of all, but you preserve that aura of aristocratic industry of the side tables.

The vulgar throng of the mam table likewise show peculiarities. At either end sit those devoted to the observation of geographical phenomena—morning inhabitants make for the right end, afternoon ones for the left one (the solution is in their affection for the sun). At the centre congregate those whose social instincts ore greater than their thirst for knowledge, and besides the catalogues those whose single aim is exercise. The main table is also the haunt of the overflowing type which requires at least half a table and two chairs plus a fair bit of floor space.

So next time you resolved to "work" in the library, choose carefully which club suits your tastes—but a warning: Do not join during (or close to) the Caf hours—most tables feel the same as Winnie the Pooh about that time.