Spirituous Lectures?

Salient has shown a remarkable tendency towards flippancy and humorous nonchalance in the past few months. The letters and articles I have read have been amusing and entertaining, but this state of affairs must cease forthwith in view of the conditions existing in the community outside the college. One of these conditions is an increasing tendency for clubs and institutions to seek their own charters, so that liquid refreshments may be supplied on the spot to patrons. I look on each Charter granted as benignly realising that the dreams of Alcoholics Anonymous will never be realised.

Sir, I am appalled at the apathy of members of VUC, both staff and students, but more particularly am I satisfied that Salient, the self-styled "Organ of Student Opinion" has failed by not raising its voice in this matter of great importance to all those who, through the drought at VUC, have found their powers slowly waning, their intellectual ability ebbing from them. The losses shown on the Caf, balance sheets perturb me, too. And I am consoled only when I think that the same solution will do for both problems.

The money raised for the new building should first be used to extend the present Caf. to at least 20 times its present size, with every facility for serious and prolonged drinking. Loading bays should be installed, and individual earphones with control selector panels (as for UN translations). Students could then have both liquor and lecturer on tap without stirring from their seats at the bar. The present lecture rooms would be unused (but the lecturers, I am afraid, would have to do without). It may be that continuous pipelines might supply the lecturers in their rooms. The germ of the idea is now there—need I proceed further? The profits would quickly build a genuine Student Union Building which VUC has for so long been without. This is a noble scheme, is it not?

—F.E.G.

(Sic! Hic! Vuc.—Ed.)