Aunt Daisy

"Nam siceis deus omnia dura proposuit."
As a general rule this fact you'll find.
That everyone, man or woman.
By nature hard or by nature kind,
When ever so slightly alcohol-lined
Is Ever so much more human.

When Augustus had beaten his foes for all time
And punishment sought to apportion,
As he balefully glared at the prisoners' line.
Ovid gave him a bowl of Falernian wine,
And his charge was dismissed with a caution.

Henry the Eighth, though hale and bluff.
Rubicund, round, and tubby,
On erring wives was a trifle tough.
Till Catherine gave him the genuine stuff
And made him an excellent hubby.

Ivan the Terrible, one dark night,
A Circassian sought to smother,
But the girl was really rather bright,
She mixed him a spot like gelignite,
And he sent her home to her mother.

Robert B. Semple was hard to please.
With opinions seditiously hearty,
And altogether a bit of a cheese,
Till they hushed him up in Bellamy's.
——Now he's joining the National Party.

The Fuehrer Adolf may seem severe,
His philanthropy somewhat erratic,
But as General Booth remarked last year,
He wasn't brought up on Red Top beer,
So you can't be too dogmatic.

An axiom, then, this seems to be,
That everyone, peer or peasant,
Sadistic Turk or benign Chinee,
When ever so slightly out on the spree,
Is Ever so much more pleasant.