Salient. An Organ of Student Opinion at Victoria College, Wellington, N.Z. Vol. 4, No. 5. June 6, 1941
Poor Viki was feeling rather depressed. It was exactly a week since Tournament but she had not heard from Warm Kneed, though under the circumstances she felt she should have done. Little did she suspect that he was in hospital being treated for D.T.'s. She felt flat and enervated. She needed Dr. Williams Pink Pills. At this moment her girlfriend Margaret Georgetaker rushed up exuding oomph. "Take a swig of this, it'll pep you up no end," she urged, and offered Viki her flask of Clement's Tonic. Immediately Viki's vision, which had become blurred from emotion at the thought of Warm Kneed's inexplicable neglect, cleared and she realised she was in the Cafetaria eating a pie, an error which in her sober moments she would never have been guilty of (or of which she would never have been guilty). Her attention was immediately arrested by a person wolfing soup at the next table.
With the rugged grandeur of his weathered features (storms had beaten on them and not in vain) and his shock of unkempt hair he looked like a subspecies of Cro-Magnon man. You felt he spent some of his time drawing buffaloes on walls. "That's John McBleary," said Margaret. "He's producing Extrav."
"Is that why he looks so tired?" asked Viki, forgetting her own sorrow in the contemplation of another
"Partly," said Margaret, "partly because for a year now he's had a weight on his mind."
"What weight?" asked Viki. (Yes, you're quite right, she is dumb.)
"Ask John. I'd say 7 stone plus."
"Is that why they sing that Johnny song?" asked Viki, and burst into tears at the thought of the many names that could be substituted from her point of view, but alas they were all G.W.T.W. She must sublimate her emotions. She would act in Extrav.!
What is Extrav.?
"Tell me all about it," she urged Margaret.
"Oh, it's simply wonderful. You have a party every night and you eat saveloys at rehearsals. You meet lots of dashing people. It's even more gate-of-romance-opening than Tournament. Do you like to see a lot of people? If so, there's Girth Big-un and Father Divine. He's Rather Divine, but he'll probably be Gaga or Blotto. And if you're anxious to learn you might try Menace Partley."
"Partley what?" asked Viki.
Margaret blushed (believe it or not). Memories of the previous year crowded thick upon her. She heard once more that insidious honeyed crooning (You're beautiful but dumb) which with its cloying sweetness had had power to make her oblivious to the voice of her anxious husband. She saw this gay comparatively untouched young flower panting on the the should of life. She was her best friend. Should she tell her the Awful Truth?
[Will Margaret come across with the dope? Will Partley (we still don't know what) be sufficiently interested in Viki to lead her [unclear: Up] garden Path? What will [unclear: happen] to our heroine when she finds herself alone in [unclear: the] Gym surrounded by 200 Weir House Wardens dressed as Wooden Horses? (Sam Goldwyn's got nothing on us). Read next month's instalment of our thrilling serial. Make sure of your copy by getting a sub, from the Distribution Manager To-Day!!!!]