Gossip

After reading a contemporary American gossip column we emerged envious and depressed. Who could hope to attain the standard of the following item? (which is genuine, by the way—we defy anyone here to invent its equal):

What veddy, veddy socialite is acting blase, but is really burning because a ciggy gal is making goo-goo eyes at her ga-ga guy?

Brooding quietly over this and allied pieces of information we did try a little in the same style. For instance:

We hear that sweetie-pie Marie Best likes to go sunrise-gazing by bicycle after visiting one of our swell-and- swelter social niteries.

Or even—

One of the Dramatic Club's erstwhile incandescent has just staggered forth from the chloroform and gargle house.

But we think not.

Speaking of the Dramatic Club, a committee (admittedly self-appointed) which sat in the caf, the other night regarding each new arrival with x-ray eyes, was forced to the conclusion that there are no longer any handsome heroes at Varsity.

Discovery by Eddie Irving: That the police force does not appreciate alms.

Astrologist's note: Brookie was born on the 6th of June. A curious soul consulted the Aspro Year Book for illumination and found "You can pick a Gemini every time by his habit of gesticulating when he talks. His bands and arms are always brought into play to illustrate every point. He never sits still for long, nor is he silent for long either! But he hears everything that goes on, and is eternally curious."

Seen at the Left Book Club meeting; Jack Aimers practicing on Mr. Scotney that simple, sincere handshake and smile with which he hopes to greet Australia.