Freshers approach the University with an almost pitiable veneration for ancient institutions—the sight of a Professor fills them with religious awe: the library is like a cathedral: Brookie remains an insoluble enigma; and putative graduates listen open-mouthed to the sonorous utterances from the lecturers' pulpits, convinced that they are being educated. "Salient" has interviewed the Minister of Finance and the Director of Broadcasting, in an attempt to disclose to freshers the truth about the University.