The Kia ora coo-ee : the magazine for the ANZACS in the Middle East, 1918
Answers to Correspondents
Answers to Correspondents.
There is plenty of literary talent lying latent in he A.I.F. and N.Z.E.F., and "The Kia-Ora Coo-ee" would prefer that it should be exposed to view. In other words, this paper invites soldiers of these forces to contribute for publication any items of interest of which they may be possessed. Said items may be either true or invented, and as humorous as possible. We have no time for sentimental gush, but there's a hearty welcome at this office for copy with a laugh in every line. Contributors of the present and the future—Carry on.
Gerardy: To you belongs the honour of having contributed the first MSS. to "The Kia-Ora Coo-ee." Your name has been mentioned in Despatches, and you should get the I. M. (Immortality Medal). . . Trooper Bluegum; Waiting for your next contribution. Iggery! . .. Pat Murphy; Accepted. Want more. . . . Capt. V. McD; Shall be glad to receive further humorous articles, ...Ex Journalist; Your article (for which you modestly ask P.T. 100) is held up in our wire entanglements. .. J.J.: Subject sadly overdone just now. .. Skylark: Your story on bombing entered this office quite peacefully. After reading it, we put it to rest in the W.P.B. and it went off—to the incinerator... Lieut. J.H.: Cannot use. Noah used to sit on the poop deck of the Ark and relate the same story to his "bint." . . . Jimmy L.; Quite agree with you that the Australian girl can hold her own with the girls of Egypt or elsewhere, but what have they done that you should write such awful doggerel about them. We showed your verses to a Queensland Sister, who happened to visit this office, and she said some nasty things in Arabic. . . . H.C.; Do we think that the "Bulletin" would accept your story? We don't. . . Leslie R.: A humorous story is it? Glad you mentioned it on your contribution, otherwise we would have taken it for an obituary notice . . . Twenty-Two: Shake, old chap. Copy such as yours takes a weight off our shoulders. Lets, hear from you often. . . . Bronzewing: "Desert Warblers" too musical. When the editor read it he burst into song; the remainder of the staff, as a favour, ask you to keep such stuff in the bottom of your kit bag. If you only knew our editor, you would realise that the above request is an appeal, and comes from the depth of the heart. . . . Jumbuck: Your MS., "The Turk", charged this office, got over the entanglements, heaved several grenades at Mohammed Halem, our office boy, and then retired. This is a bit of shrapnel from the one that got him:—
A bold fighting man is the Turk;
He keeps the Anzacs at work.
He fights on so brave—
His country to save,
And his duty he does not shirk.
A.F.C.: It would be a bit awkward if the whole flight followed you down to clear the water out of your carburetter; but its a long way home via Beersheba. What?.....Wally: Yes, he was a Lieut.-Col. on the Staff. His language while ploughing was awful. Your estimate of yield is too low. 60 bushels—wild—Mark VII—will just about hit it... Hard-up (Palestine): There is no Monte-de-Piete we know of in Cairo. Keep this quiet in your part of the world. We don't want a transmigration from Palestine here... M.B. McC: Palestine articles held over...Jack K: Our Censor is a peaceful man, but when we place before him such verse as you have sent us lie gives us an icy stare, opens his mouth, and—says something... Tpr. J.G.: Sorry cannot use "A Trooper's Day Dream." Try it on the "Thargomindah (Q'land) Express." The editor of same is a sentimental old chap, who welcomes verse about "lonely little sweethearts", etc., etc. Try again... Harry Quail:, Your verse, "A Soldier's Life" rather lengthy. We cannot use anything over 20 verses. Would suggest you get it made up into book form, and issue it to your mates to use as hand grenades. A few spasms, however:—
I was always known as a slogger,
The best in our town called Wagga;
And when the war came
I prats in my frame,
And they gave me a new khaki clobber
The boys all gave me three cheers
(I can hear them still in me ears.)
In me uniform so bright,
I said, "I'm going to fight,"
And swallowed all their free beers.
One day we marched down to the ship,
To embark for our very long trip.
Merry lads were we,
Rolling over the sea,
Till we landed on the shores of Galip.
Lighthorseman: We would like to receive a contribution from you . . . Otto Hewitt: Waiting . . . East of Suez: Cannot use your article on Australia. By-the-way, where is Australia? The name sounds familiar, but our memory is not what it used to be . . .Sparks: "How I cut the Wireless" is too egotistical. You might have done the deed, but many of our readers would not believe you.