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Chapter XVI.

You are really going Nellie?"

"Yes, Mrs. Enswav, I have imposed long enough upon your good nature, besides there is so much to do, and so little time to do it in." Nellie stood beside Mrs. Enswav's chair drawing on her gloves. She was dressed in mourning, and were a small black hat, trimmed with crape and ribbon. Her face had lost a little, a very little, of its lifeless look; and there was an expression of interest, almost hope, in the weird dark eyes. Yet the light seemed momentary, and, beneath the scumble, gleamed the dark shades of a remorseful hungering pain. "Well, my dear," said Mrs. Enswav, drawing the slight delicate form to her, and kissing the white cheeks affectionately. "Remember, if ever you are in need of a home, come to me. So long as I have shelter, you are welcome to share it."

Nellie's eyes filled with grateful tears. Tears were never far from her eyes, when listening to words of love. The only times they dried in their sockets were during pain and sorrow. Then they evaporated, and the dark beds were left dry and parched, and blazing with an unnatural light.

"Thank you," she said in her low, quiet voice. "You have made a better girl of me. I shall never forget. By your own feelings, you will understand what I cannot express."

"I am disappointed," said Marion, coming up for her share in the parting. "I fully expected you to stay a month. And had planned such a surprise. It's really too page 176bad of that old lady sending just when she shouldn't." The girl tried to appear annoyed, but, when she looked at her friend's face, and saw the tiny suspicions of interest there, she smiled, and inwardly prophesied that the change would do her good.

"Tell me the surprise, before I go home, Marion."

"No. At least, not just yet."

"The carriage is at the door," announced a voice, and Nellie had to hasten away.

"Good bye, my friend," said Nellie, as she yielded once more to Marion's close embrace.

"Good bye, Iwand's Lyly." Ah, Marion did not guess what a cruel stab she gave to that bleeding heart. Twice she had used the wrong medicine for a misunderstood disease.

The mouth twitched with pain, and the face was hidden upon the breast that its change should not be seen.

"I may not see you again, dearest," continued Mur, in her gentle whisper. "But I shall always remember you in my prayers. Have you any message, anything you would like me to do?"

"No, nothing, except to love me, and never change."

Marion had to bend very low to catch the strange words. But her mother's entrance prevented her from answering, and Nellie lifted her head, and whispered: "Great happiness is in store for you, my Mur. Live and enjoy it. He whom you have chosen is worthy. Ye are worthy of one another." Then the pale face turned away, and refused to be scrutinized by those earnest eyes.

Mother and daughter went to see their visitor off. They helped her into her seat. They shook hands, and kissed her for the last time. They stepped back. The door shut. The driver mounted into his seat. She was gone. As the page 177carriage rolled away a pale face appeared at the window. A thin white hand waved farewell.

"What a strange expression haunts that child's face at times," remarked Mrs. Enswav to her daughter as they returned to the house.

"Yes," answered Marion, her eyes glancing wistfully at the unoccupied seat in the window. "I am not so sure of my suspicions. Yet there is certainly something more than the pain of death in those dark eyes. I begin to think I do not understand her. Do you know what she said the first day she arrived, mother? I felt sorry, and thought she had more than her share of trouble," continued Marion, without waiting to hear her mother's answer. "Naturally enough I told her so, and finished up by relating Mrs. Lubb's story of her tearless sorrow. You should have seen the fire in her eyes as she turned to me. 'Marion,' she said in that cold hard tone she sometimes uses. 'I have a favour, a command. Never by word or deed allude to myself, or anything concerning me. Let me try to forget the remembrance of the past in thinking of the present, and planning for the future. I shall not succeed, I know; but you may be able to help me a little by not probing this cankering wound.' I have never dared to mention it to her again."

"Well, Marion, I am surprised. I thought you would have had better sense than touch upon such a painful subject."

"But, mother, you forget. Nellie and I are friends, not acquaintances. We always used to tell our thoughts to one another. Why should she change now?"

Mrs. Enswav laid a small white hand on her daughter's shoulder, and for a few minutes looked into the proud fair face, as if she meant to read what was beyond those bright blue eyes.

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"My child," she said in her soft gentle way, "I must ask you to look into your own heart. Do you not see there a tiny corner where even your greatest earthly friend cannot gain admittance. A corner which is opened only on rare occasions. Close to this, so close as to be often confounded with that inner recess, is another apartment where you admit your greatest friends. On the outside limit is acquaintance hall. Thus! the heart, you will understand, contains three main divisions. Of friendsip's apartment and acquaintance hall, there is little that is noticeable. The walls of the former are thicker, and more substantially built than that of the latter; and their structure varies according to the nature of the possessor. In many cases friendship's apartment is so carefully guarded that, with men, their wives, and perhaps one other friend, with women, their husbands, and perhaps another Nellie, are the only ones who gain admittance. And the door of acquaintance hall is protected by what is often termed reserve, but what in reality is a love for truth. Of course there are many whose dividing walls are so carelessly constructed, and so wilfully neglected, as to allow the inhabitants of one room, pass into the other without any difficulty; they can even pass through both apartments, pass out, and be forgotten. So much for the upper chambers of the heart. Now for that deep and secret recess, Marion." Mrs. Enswav's hand fell from the tall shoulder of her daughter, and her eyes turned to the deep bay window, as if she read there the words she uttered: read, as if the absent form were in its usual place, and the heart were open to her gaze.

"Marion. In that secret chamber no other mortal can find an entrance; none but the one to whom it belongs. The veil of instinct, studded with its rare and costly jewels of reverence, separates from man what is within his page 179fellow man. In this inner chamber, or secret recess, the Father and the Son are found seated on golden thrones of love. They sit, waiting to commune with the soul. Like the high priest of old, the soul requires preparation for its entrance into that sacred place, and its appearance before those sacred forms. Washing itself in tears of remorse, and clothing itself in the robe of humility, the soul lifts the heavy shining veil, and enters the secret apartment, bearing in its hands faith and obedience; the latter is sprinkled before the throne, the former ascends and fills the room with a pale misty light. The Father accepts the offering, blesses the offerer, and passing his servant over to his Son, charges that Son, by his own life of humanity, to counsel and succour this witness of his. The Son complies with the command; and the soul goes forth, laden with precious gifts from that Saviour's throne of love. Do you understand, now, why you are not admitted into this secret chamber of Nellie's heart? You must not be jealous; only three can occupy that place: the Father, the Son, and the soul itself. My child, you too have this recess, this strange recess of the heart of hearts. But as yet you have never been called upon to examine it. May your examination be frought with less pain than is that of your noble-hearted friend."

"Thank you, mother dear," answered Marion, in a low soft voice. In spite of her endeavours to be cheerful for "Iwand's Lyly's sake," she had failed sadly. The pathetic look of those dark proud eyes haunted her even in her happiest moments by Norman Douglas' side. As her mother said, Marion Enswav had never been called upon to examine the truth in depth. Her love for Norman had been the deepest she had fathomed, but then it was so alluring, so strangely sweet, that she did not consider it an examination. Besides, even that had not been tested. page 180But Nellie, the wild wilful Nellie, who was always getting into scrapes, always getting out of them, always laughing and teasing, always bright, and full of careless fun. Nellie, of all persons in the world to have that undefinable expression, Marion could not understand it. Her mother's solemn words, together with the change she was contemplating in her own life, stirred up deeper thoughts than anything had everdone before.

"Why have you never spoken like this to me before, mother?" she asked, her face averted that her mother might not see the tears in her eyes.

"Because, for one thing, I do not care to lecture my children unnecessarily, and for another, because the right time had not come. You would not have understood."

Marion crossed over to her mother, and throwing her arms around the elderly lady's neck, kiss the plump cheeks. "I wish all mothers were like mine," she said tenderly. "The world would not be so full of broken hearts and blighted homes. I shall be to my husband, what you are to yours, and I am assured of the result. Yet, had you not taught, how should I understand my duty. Mother, at this solemn moment, Nellie's face arises to my mind. Nellie's face with its purple rimmed starry eyes. O, why do parents behave like children, and children like parents? Because one refuse to learn, and consequently, is not able to teach; and because, when the time came for the other to learn, the lessons, being unfamiliar, came like a sudden blow to the unprepared intellect."

"Well done, my Socrates," laughed Mrs. Enswav. "I thought you incapable of so much insight. See that you do not abuse my teaching, when your turn comes to teach."

"Do not fear, mother mine, my turn will never come," said Marion with a merry twinkle in her eyes.

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"Not according to appearances," answered her mother.

Marion laughed, and blushed, as she turned to greet Dr. Douglas, who was entering by the open window. He was surprised to see the couch unoccupied; more so, when he heard his patient had gone home, and more so still when he learned the reason of her sudden flight. Yet he concluded that it was the very best thing that could happen; this conclusion, however, he kept it to himself, for, as we are aware that Marion had a surprise in store for her friend, and as Dr. Douglas knew of the nature of the surprise, he did not care to hurt "His Marion's" feelings. He too was not quite sure of the ground on which his beloved stood.

He was very quiet all that evening, and Marion rallied him unmercifully about his absence of mind. "I really believe you are thinking of Nellie," she had declared once, her blue eyes veiled with her long lashes that he might not see their expression. "Don't make me jealous, Norman."

Norman Douglas looked at the fair, sweet face for several minutes, before answering. "I see no traces of jealousy in that tender face," he said quietly. "Perhaps, I am not a good judge of character. Marion; I see pride, firmness, love; but I see no jealousy."

Marion rose from her low seat beside him, and stepped forward into the full light of the gas. They two were the only ones in the room during those few moments. The bright light fell upon Marion's proud face and golden hair. The shadows fell about her eyes, and round her dimpled mouth. Her robe of the softest grey, clung about her slender figure, and fell in graceful folds, until they touched the dainty little feet. A faint bloom rested on the somewhat pale cheeks giving the face that accidental touch which so greatly improves a picture.

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"Norman," she said in a clear steady voice, her blue eyes looking full at him. "Norman! look at me. See I stand in the full glare of this light: a position few of my sex care to take. Hitherto you have seen me in the shadows by your side. Now you see me as I am. See me with all my blemishes brought out into startling effect. I want you to study me well, for next month I become your wife, and it will be too late then. You are surprised at my conduct, Norman, I see it in your face; but Elmy Main's visit, and my mother's counsel this afternoon, have set me thinking. I will help you in your study of my character Norman, by telling you what I know, what I feel. You say there is pride in my composition. You are right. There is a pride that would have ruined my life, had you not come to turn it into a sweet and sacred blessing. Norman, before I knew you, I dispised you sex. One after another the men of my acquaintance passed before me and paused; and from all, I turned away with a bitter scornful smile. "These are the creatures of our affections; the beings of unity with our spotless maidenhood," I cried. "O God, create a more worthy object for our love." Thus day after day I stood beneath the drops of lime-water, and became petrified in my pride. 'They are all alike, there is no honour among them. To man, that perfidy of purity, my soul would never bend.' You have taught me my mistake, and although I bend not to that perfidy of purity, I despise not your sex for your sake." The proud face softened a little, and the golden head bent forward. "Love, you see in my nature? Yes, but you have put it there. From your own great storehouse you have replenished my empty neglected granary. Ah, Norman, I dare not look within, I fear the effect of that sight upon my miserly soul. And firm." Again the proud head was thrown back. Again the suspicions of unnatural womanish sternness page 183played about the mouth. "And firm, I am too firm, to allow jealousy an entrance into my heart, into my home, and into my husband's and his wife's lives. Think well of this Norman Douglas, before you take me to your heart and home. I have passed in and out among my friends, I have entered homes; conversed with wives and husbands; read what was beneath the surface of many a jest, many an intended insinuation; dined with them; and had them dine with me; and I swear before Heaven that my married life will be different. I will not take up politics, I will not rail against the form; but I will take up my crown, I will rule the inner man. It is the actions of the married men which added the over-balancing weight to my disdain. Do not mistake my meaning, however. Although the power of my outraged indignation would paralyze your arm upraised to embrace another woman. Still, I would entreat you to stoop and kiss Elmy Main. The contact of your lips, with her spotless soul, would purify them for your wife. I speak as one inspired. Taught by a higher power. Taught by love. And now Norman you understand what to expect from my hands. Do you hesitate?" The firm mouth never flinched, the proud eyes looked straight into his.

"No." Low and deep and distinct as a bell, rang through the room that manly voice.

"Norman." All pride, all coldness, all sarcastic hauteur had left the face. All sweetness, all love, all wistful tenderness shone there.

He gathered the drooping form to his strong manly heart; he caressed the shining golden head, he kissed the soft shy lips: he loved and was loved: he was a king among his kind.

O, ye who say that love is selfish; that love is seasoned with passion: look upon this scene, look into these hearts, page 184and learn to be wise. Love is not love, until it is cleansed of all impurity. That night, when Marion went to her mother's room to kiss her good night, she put a telegram, which Mr. Enswav had given her on his return from business, into her mother's hand, saying, "Just in time. Although, as I said before, I am not so sure of my ground."

"The uncertainty will be cleared away, and that will be something for your pains," whispered the mother, as she kissed the flushed face of her daughter, and thought how beautiful it had grown. And yet that face was not perfect in its classic beauty. The nose was not patrician. The mouth rather stern than mobile. The eyebrows heavier than the critic cares to see. Wherein lay the magic charm? The Light. The light of rare and exquisite love. Marion Enswav had won the love of a man, and being a woman, knew how to value that love.

As she passed through the dining-room on her way to her bed chamber, she glanced at the empty couch.

"Good-night, Iwand's little Lyly," she murmured, her eyes filling with tears. "Good-night, my dearest earthly friend. I wonder who tends you to-night. No one, I suppose. No one who loves you as Marion does."

The cool night air wafted the words to Nellie, and the kind spirit they contained, softened the pillow for the weary head. "God bless and prosper those dear friends," she prayed. "And make me worthy of their love." A heartfelt sob ended the prayer, and the tired tearless eyes closed in a restless sleep.