The North-West Nelson Medium-Fit to Easy Trip (The No Chooks, No Massage Party)

- Paul Marcroft

- mid-term break

This trip was characterised by the amount of grease eaten before and after, the lack of women,and therefore accidents too.(any sexist statements made are the responsibility of the author and do not reflect editorial policy - ed.) Five keen tramping chaps,under the supervision of Chris Hardiman,were separated on the very first day. Shock,horror,disgust say some,but why?

Well that's a secret,but after spending a night at various places we,with tremendous merriment rejoined our prodigal sons at a salubrious lodge,before being intruded upon by the grossly cold and smelly medium trip. Hours later they buggered off,so what could we do but hit the pit. The next day we aimed for Mt Peel,but after winding up in mist we ended up in Trilobite Hut,with 3 hunting cowboys and another bloody medium trip. We were too cool for them all,so they drove back to town,and upstream, respectively.

At the crack of dawn the sun came...up,and we had a sunny day,Lake Cobb and Fenella Hut ahead of us. So we went there,did that,ate TBs,snouted about and rejoined the medium party in that spacious post-Modernist edifice. Red sky next morning greeted us,and lateron while going up to the Lockett Range the clag came and said hello too. And so to pit,to yap about dames,play chess,and eat up untold grub.

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Poxy sleet reigned the next day,setting a tragic scene. With our Quest of Lockett Ranging doomed,and nearly all my black jellybeans killed or died of consumption,we were force-marched at a blistering pace back down to Trilobite to pick up the van and civilization.

Back to Nelson and grease munching. While waiting for other groups we wisely spent our time snuffling around Chez Eelco and dancing on Cathedral steps for tourist buses.

The people that went made the weather seem bloody good;they were (in order of impotence)

Chris Hardiman - the bludy old bugger

Mike blister Brown

Greg Walton - quote "really pretty"

Alan "salami breath" Clelland

Paul Marcroft - jellybean connisseur and character-builder extraordinaire.