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Typo: A Monthly Newspaper and Literary Review, Volume 6

[miscellaneous paragraphs]

The University of Berlin has invented one of the longest words yet produced: Vereinseigenthumsverwaltungsdurchsichtsausschuss—of which the interpretation is: Examining Committee into the administration of Patrimony.—This formidable compound noun is outdone by another, supplied to Typo by a German friend, which, though not a centipedalian, suggests the possibility of such being evolved. It is Konftantinopeloitanifcherdudelfackpfeifeninftrumentmachergefelle.? Can any of our correspondents beat this one? It contains 28 syllables, is longer by sixteen letters than the Berlin University word, and its meaning is—The Constantinople branch (or agency) of the Italian-bagpipe factory.

Hannibal Chollop flourishes even more, we think, in New Zealand than in the United States. We air a Great People, and we must be Cracked Up. Distinguished visitors are welcome to flatter us and our institutions to any extent; but any attempt to hint a fault, or suggest improvement, is an unpardonable offence. Strange to say, the local journals that are most given to deluging the country with the dirty water of abuse are the most sensitive on this point. Not long ago a morning paper of some pretensions published a most gloomy and dyspeptic article, in which it set forth that the whole colony was on the brink of ruin. The enormous newly-developed export of frozen meat, which in the opinion of many had saved the country from public and private bankruptcy, was only a thing to be deplored. The « Ovine » and « Bovine » inhabitants were displacing Men. A day or two afterwards it woke up to administer a frightful castigation to Mr Christie Murray for some far less disparaging criticisms. It has been the same with Trollope and Froude, and it is the same now with Kipling. If these observant visitors really drew the long bow, we could smile; but it is the truth they tell that is so galling. Froude's chief fault was that seeing only the north, he mistook Auckland for New Zealand—but then many Aucklanders make the same mistake, with less excuse. Kipling, with his power of swift and accurate observation, is a better authority than many a fossil resident who has spent half-a-century in the colony. A North Island paper, which we will not name — its insignificance and impecuniosity are its best protection—published a most outrageous libel on Kipling almost as soon as he had left New Zealand. (Mr K., by the way, had not thought fit to be « interviewed » by the editor.) He was a « cad, » an « ass, » an « ignoramus, » an « arrant liar, ready to do anything for the sake of notoriety, » a « jackanapes, » a « creature » who « prates, » a « young prig, » a « traducer, » and last of all, contemptuously, « this man. » The latter title is an honorable one, after all—a title of which the editorial Ohollop is oertainly not worthy.

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We think that our readers will approve of the innovations we have made in the present issue. Typo is now printed on a finer quality of paper, and color is for the first time introduced. We will now be able to display still more effectively the specimen lines and ornaments sent to us by our friends the typefounders, and to do full justice to their two- and three-color designs.

Judges (says the London Echo) cannot be always supremely happy. Chief Justice Coleridge, for instance, yesterday, in following precedent, gave a decision contrary to his judgment. The Times is being sued for a libel, and the suer gets a judge's order to compel The Times to say what is its circulation. The Times appealed against the order, and the judge dismissed the appeal, but without costs, as the Court thought that the demand made on the defendants was unreasonable. We go further, and say that the demand was vexatious, inquisitorial, and impertinent.

The posthumous work « The Pentateuch of Printing, » by the late lamented Mr William Blades, edited and prepared for publication by Mr Talbot B. Reed, has been published. It contains a biography of the author, and a bibliography of his works, by the editor. A feature of the book is the singularly beautiful original emblematical headpieces and initials with which it is embellished, and which, like some of the early printers' emblems, bid fair to become historical. It is but an outline, though a valuable one, and the skeleton work is sufficient to give some idea of what a grand achievement the completed task would have been.

Mr J. D. Cockburn (says the Printers' Register) claims to have discovered among the collections of the Advocate's Library in Edinburgh the first original newspaper published in Scotland—at least, the first of which any copy is now extant. It is two years earlier than the Mercurius Caledonius, which has hitherto been regarded as the prototype of Scottish journalism, and is one of the numerous publications of this class of the Edinburgh printer, Christopher Higgins. The title is The Faithfull Intelligence from the Parliament's Army in Scotland, and it is dated Tuesday, November 29th to Saturday, December 3rd, 1659.

Here is Southey's admirable advice on the choice of books:—Young readers, you whose hearts are open, whose understandings are not yet hardened, and whose feelings are neither exhausted nor encrusted with the world, take from me a better rule than any professors of criticism will teach you.—Would you know whether the tendency of a book is good or evil, examine in what state of mind you lay it down. ؟Has it distracted the sense of right and wrong which the Creator has implanted in the human soul? If so—if you have felt that such were the effects it was intended to produce—throw the book into the fire, whatever name it may bear on the cover.

Mr W. H. Harper, in a series of practical articles on proof-reading, in the Printers' Register, brings out the fact that the Oxford University Press forestalled Noah Webster in his reformed spelling by nearly two centuries. He says: In the year 1682 an anonymous pamphlet was published entitled Friendly Advice to the Correctour of the English Press at Oxford concerning the English Orthographie. The « correctour » had endeavored to discard the u in such words as editour, colour, humour, neighbour, and mould, and to lop off the k in diabolick, topick, publick, &c., which the critic indeed preferred should be spelt « diabolique, » « topique, » and « publique. » The « correctour » possibly emigrated to America, where his ideas on the superfluous u were in a later generation received with more favor. As the « correctour » has printed tho for though, this critic wishes to know why he has not printed thi for thigh, and is, on the whole, perhaps more severe than the necessities of the case demanded.

It has always been supposed (says an English paper) that the official standards of measurement were lost in the fire which destroyed the old House of Commons in 1834. So strong, indeed, was this belief, that four new standards of measurement were with immense trouble constructed, and to save a loss of the same kind were deposited in four different places, one being embedded in the wall of the lower waiting hall at the House of Commons. Recently the original standards, which for nearly sixty years have been considered hopelessly lost, were re-discovered. There are four bars of metal, with the various measurements marked on them. One is dated 1750, another 1760, and the other two, which bear no date, are supposed from the fineness of the work to be identical with some that were made in 1798. Side by side with the standards several weights were discovered, one of which (weighing a little over 17℔) has caused a good deal of perplexity to the authorities, who cannot imagine what it can be.

An American telegram, dated 11th Jan., reports:—The University of Columbia, in Missouri, has been destroyed by fire. The library, containing forty thousand books, was lost.

The irrepressible mathematical crank has been at work again. He has calculated that the average newspaper writer makes 4,000,000 strokes with his pen each year, or a line 300 miles long. A rapid penman draws his pen through 16½ feet in every minute. In forty minutes his pen travels a furlong. There is not much value in these results, even if they are approximately correct.

The term « Liberal » as vulgarly used in this colony, requires a good deal of definition. In Wanganui, a genuine working man was elected as a member of the licensing committee—a very ordinary circumstance in a democratic community. Curiously enough, the « liberal » paper cannot refrain from sneering at his trade, and on the first occasion of his absence from a committee meeting presumed that it was « owing to his being better employed building chimneys. »

The English education department has had a lesson in English grammar from a bench of magistrates. In the phraseology of the schools, « reaching » a standard is passing the examination in that standard. The court, however, refused to accept such an interpretation, and dismissed a case on the ground that a child, having passed Standard IV must have « reached » Standard V. A point is not passed before it is reached.

Among the fantastically-named sects in the United States is « The Sisters of St. John the Baptist. » One of the community was spending a month in a backwoods district. Going to the post-office soon after her arrival, she asked if any letter had come for « Sister Bernardine. » The rural postmaster looked bewildered for a moment. « ؟Sister who? » he asked. « Sister Bernardine, » replied the lady, « a sister of St. John the Baptist. » « Well, I should rather think not, » replied the man, with an uproarious laugh; « I guess he's been dead pretty near a hundred years now. »

My friend the musical critic (writes « Attieus » in the Melbourne Leader) is in despair. He tried all the resources of the caligraphic art to make the word « harmonics » plain to the eyes of the gentleman who reproduces it in type, but it would come out in print as « harmonies. » At last he ventured to draw attention to the important letter by writing in the margin of his MS., « c, not e. » Imagine his state of mind on reading his critique the following morning to find the sentence printed thus: « While his playing of harmonies is usually excellent, his C, not E, intonation in ordinary passages is often at fault. » The obnoxious word was still there, and his marginal note had gone in with the rest. Not long ago he narrowly missed an awful blunder by catching sight of a passing proof. He was writing of Ernest Hutcheson, the promising young pianist, and remarked: « With a little more practice he will be in a position to rank with the best players of the day. » By the agency of the printers' devil or some other frisky Puck, « rank » had got itself printed « vamp » !

The Hon. W. P. Reeves, in a speech in Wellington, has been standing up for his colleague the Premier as a Master Printer. He said, « This was a piece of nonsense, seeing that the paper in question was run by a company, in which, no doubt, Mr Ballance had an interest, and the rate of wages did not compare badly with that of other country newspapers, which, being for the most part conservative organs, were saved from having their affairs dragged before the country. At any rate, it was hardly fair to judge a government by the exact number of pounds, shillings, and pence paid to compositors in a newspaper office. » « A Comp » in the Evening Press tackles Mr Reeves. He says: « Mr Ballance some years ago decided to throw his paper into a company, and the value he set upon his property was £7,500. The shares, however, did not go off so quickly as anticipated, and so Mr and Mrs Ballance together have always held a very large number—about half the number issued. With the exception, too, of the periods during which he has been a minister, he has had the entire control of the business, and must, in my opinion, be held responsible. Here we have the melancholy spectacle of a man professing unbounded pity and sympathy for the toiling masses, and yet his own hands are said to be worse paid than any other men of their class from the North Cape to the Bluff. » The writer does not forget to remark on Mr Reeves's disingenuousness in styling Wanganui a country town. Thirty years ago the inhabitants would have felt insulted at such a designation. Thriving Wanganui, with its six or seven thousand inhabitants, its two big dailies and bigger weeklies, its port, and its magnificent river, to be classed with country villages! Mr Reeves would do well to keep away from the River City until this unlucky speech is forgotten.