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"Quotations."

« Plenty of reading here, » said the visitor, pointing to the pile of books on the editorial desk.

« They are not for reading, » was the reply; « they are for review. »

« Our editorials, » wrote the candid editor, « have been crowded out by pressure of interesting matter. »

A German, whose son had been employed in an insurance company's office, was met by an acquaintance, who inquired:

« Well, Mr Schneider, how is Hans getting along in his new place? »

« Shoost shplendidt: he vas von off dem directors already. »

« A director! I never heard of such rapid advancement—the young man must be a genius. »

« He vas; he shoost write a sphlendidt handt! »

« Oh yes, plenty of people can do that; but you said he was a director."

« So he vas—he direct dem cirgulars ten hours efery day already! »

A stands for Action, which makes business move;.
D for the Dash, which ne'er gets in a groove;
V stands for Vim, which e'er leads to success;
E for the Energy hustlers possess;
R stands for Reason, to which good sense yields;
T stands for Type, which the world's sceptre wields;
I stands for Industry, handmaid of thrift;
S for the Sales, which don't come as a gift;
I stands for Indolence, man's greatest curse;
N for the Nothing in Lazybones' purse;
G stands for Gold, which you all want to get;
P stands for Patience, which bids you not fret;
A for Advice—that you keep out of debt;
Y stands for You, sir, whom I thus advise;
S for Success, if you'll but advertise.

—Columbus Dispatch.

« Ah, what's this? » exclaimed the intelligent comp—'Sermons in stones, books in the running brooks.' That can't be right. I have it. He means 'Sermons in books, stones in the running brooks.' That's sense. » And that is how the writer found it.