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'Quotations'

First newspaper boy —I say, Bill, there's been a hawful railway accident, and ever so many people killed!

Bill (joyfully):O my! Ain't that jolly 1 Shan't we sell our papers this evening!

La dernière chemise de l'amour was a Frenchman's rendering of « Love's last shift. »

« This is the unkindest cut of all, » said the candidate, with a groan, when he saw his portrait in the daily paper.

« No news is good news » is a proverb old and tried; but it won't do to run a newspaper on that principle.

An intelligent comp on an up-country paper made the heading « Share Market » read « Shark Market. » There is a future before that youth.

A mathematical calculation has shewn that if the muscles of a man were relatively as strong as those of a flea, he could throw a book-agent two miles.

An excited military-looking gentleman entered the editorial sanctum one afternoon, exclaiming, « That notice of my death is false, sir. I'll horsewhip you within an inch of your life, sir, if you don't apologise and express your regret in your next issue. » The editor inserted the following the next day: « We extremely regret to announce that the paragraph which stated that Major Blazer was dead is without foundation. »