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Typo: A Monthly Newspaper and Literary Review, Volume 1

Penalties of Authorship

page 21

Penalties of Authorship.

From a humorous sketch in Harper's Magazine, by Mr John Habberton, we extract the following:—But whatever else happened, The Smithton Swain continued to sell; so people came slowly to tell one another that I was making a great deal of money. I learned this by the great increase in the number of persons who wanted to borrow money of me, and the large sums that were asked for; by the variety of subscription papers that were brought to me, and the number of business schemes with which enterprising fellows assailed me. I was also « invited out » a great deal by families which until then had barely noticed me. All this was embarrassing, for I had no right, under the terms of my contract with my publisher, to expect any money from my book for many months to come. How much I was reputed to be worth I did not learn until I was called upon by a lady member of the church to which I belonged; she was soliciting contributions to the fund being raised by the congregation for the endowment of a professorship in a theological seminary. « We have agreed, after consultations with our husbands, » said the lady, « that as the older members have sustained the entire burden of building the church, the younger men should be urged to assume this new and special duty. We have further resolved to ask each young man to give one-tenth of this year's income, according to the ancient custom of our denomination. » This was somewhat staggering, but as I knew that a few months after the year's end I should receive a large sum from my publisher, I hastily concluded the interview, and promised to accede to the fair petitioner's request. « What a splendid beginning! » exclaimed the lady. « It is really true, isn't it, Mr Smith, that fifty thousand copies of The Smithton Swain have been sold? » « I believe so. » « Dear me! » She pencilled rapidly on the cover of her subscription book for a moment, and then continued: « Fifty thousand copies at a dollar each comes to fifty thousand dollars, one-tenth of which is five thousand dollars. Now, Mr Smith, if you will kindly add one-tenth of your salary to the amount, I will know exactly how much to write down as your subscription.) » « But I have not offered you any part of the income of my book, » I gasped, « for I have not received a penny of it yet, and will not for at least half a year. I may never receive any. My publisher may fail, or I may die, or—something else may happen. Besides, I do not get all the money which people pay for the books; I get but a small percentage of it. » My visitor rose, flushed, and evidently angry. « It is all simple enough, Mr Smith, » she said, showing the figuring on her book cover. « Fifty thousand copies, fifty thousand dollars, ten per cent. of which is five thousand dollars. I believe you business men say that figures can't lie. Still if your conscience will allow you to defraud a holy cause by subterfuge, I do not know what I can do to prevent, except report the matter to the deacons as a probable case for discipline. » « But my dear madam —,» I began. It was too late; she was half way to the door; and one of my employers, noting the haste and manner of her departure, called me aside, and gravely expressed a hope that I had not forgotten myself so far as to make love to another man's wife.