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The New Zealand Railways Magazine, Volume 13, Issue 7 (October 1, 1938)

The Skinflints

The Skinflints.

The Skinflints were a backward people, meaning that all their history ran backwards and was lost among the Jutes who sacked them. Jute sacks are still known in Britain. The Skinflints were a very early people. They were so early that they didn't need beds and had to bury pottery to prove that they lived at all. They had a skin complex, but it was different from the modern one. They spent the whole of their existence skinning things. Nothing with a skin on was safe from them. When they had finished skinning all the animals they skinned each other. They did their skinning with flints which naturally gave rise to their name Angles, flints being notorious for their acute angles. They were very tough; it is not surprising that it took the Romans nearly forty years to absorb them. It would have taken longer if the Skinflints had not had a queen named Bow-legged Sarah who led a revolt which collapsed as soon as the Romans sat on it. It couldn't have been a very strong revolt in the first place or Bow-legged Sarah would have ridden it herself instead of leading it.