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The New Zealand Railways Magazine, Volume 13, Issue 4 (July 1, 1938.)

Un-natural Advantages

Un-natural Advantages.

No American need feel homesick with Egmont's sky-scraping proclivities to contemplate. Certainly there is no lift yet, but we believe that it won't be long before the progressive Taranakians bore a hole up the centre of Egmont and put one in to uplift our visitors from the land of Speedom. An American gets dizzy on street level and is liable to topple upwards. For the tourist who is not absolutely tied to Friday night there are the baths at Rotorua in colours to suit all skins, except Hottentots; but even they can get inked at the local hostelries if they crave a black-out.

The far south is replete with curling (which has no connection with the prevailing waves), oysters (both in shells and in offices), threepenny bits, four-penny beers, cold lakes, warm welcomes and skirling (done by forcing a lot of air through small holes until it shrieks with agony).

For further particulars, “Come to New Zealand!” We can't bring it to you because it's in constant use. Anyway, what would the little godwits do if they arrived and found it gone?