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The New Zealand Railways Magazine, Volume 10, Issue 1 (April 1, 1935)

Gentlemen of the Jury

Gentlemen of the Jury.

The defendant in the breach of promise action was a singularly ugly little man.

“Gentlemen of the jury,” said his counsel, “you've heard the evidence of the plaintiff, and doubtless you've admired her. Now, do you believe this enchanting, this fascinating, this captivating, this accomplished girl would favour the advances or listen, save with scorn, to the amorous protestations of the wretched and repulsive creature, the deformed and degraded defendant?”

His client tried to interrupt. “Silence, sir!” replied his counsel, in an undertone.

“Gentlemen,” he continued, “do you think this girl would ever have permitted an offer of marriage to be made her by this miserable atom of humanity, who would have to stand on a penny to look over twopence?” The jury thought not.

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