Su-piffle-ous Solecisms.

But, to the puerile all things are puerile, and the average humming bean would be practically dumb in blinkers, proving that much of our vocabulary is vain and su-piffle-ous. Certainly sometimes the world would go less flat if less talk went round. Which reminds us:

Suppose this earth of ours were flat,
As level as a flap-jack's hat,
And didn't even have a hedge,
Or anything around the edge,
Which one might lean upon or clutch,
To save one from a “drop too much.”
When passengers took off from shore
For Sandy Hook, or else the Nore,
They'd never know from day to day,
When they might sail the Milky Way.
But danger might be met with suits
Blown up with gas, or parachutes,
Adjusted to the frame with care,
In case the ship should take the air;
And friends and relatives might dirge,
“For those in peril on the verge.”
And Lloyds no doubt would oft' declare,
“This vessel's fate is in the air.”
Our earth that's round may oft' seem flat, But still we're safe from things like that.