New Zealand in Short.

New Zealand has often been written up at length but never in short. So let us take a pilgrimage in pill form. Meatly speaking, New Zealand is a singular “joint,” although plural to the third degree. She consists of the top-side or upper cut, the undercut, and the bit over. The upper cut, or North Island, consists, among other things, of the floating dock, the Blue Bath, and Auckland Harbour. The under cut, or South Island, contains (inter alia) both banks of the Avon and the bank of Scotland. The South Island

An Open Track For The “Special.”

is a dependency of Dunedin. Stewart Island, which is the bit that broke off, almost impinges on the pole, and sleeps by itself on a bed of oysters.

The whole is surrounded by water for as far as a ship can reach without getting wrecked. New Zealand is so singularly scenic that railway trains spend all their time running from one attraction to another. New Zealand, in addition to butter and wool, meat and cheese, produces in tourists an irresistible impulse to write to the papers about it. Tourists who previously thought that New Zealand was seal oil or a brand of cheese have been carried onto their ships prostrated with foot and mouth disease and writer's cramp through trying to express their reactions to our attractions. Some things are too utter to utter. And that, in short, is New Zealand in short.