Din and Dinner.

But nowadays, the railways make it possible to eat a Christmas dinner at someone else's expense hundreds of miles away from the origin of appetite. It is stated that the Scots are great travellers at Christmas, which speaks volumes for the cheapness of railway travel, compared with the cost of eating at home. Relatively speaking, the railway solves the problem of the Christmas dinner, for what is the use of keeping relatives if you cannot share their hops and joys at least once a year.

Of course, it is possible to surprise one's relatives by motor, but they are bound to hear one coming and conceal their real feelings. Besides the motor is only a coach in the last stages of galloping petrol consumption. On the other hand the railway provides the leisure and comfort to ponder the relative's means to a “bend.” To quote the words of X Wagon, the porter poet:-

The railway as a means of travel,
Is better far than chewing gravel,
While bounding o'er the wonky way,
In motor-cars that swoop and sway,
And skid where'er the gravel's loose,
A thing designed to cook the goose.
The railway train is sweet and smooth,
Its seats are built to lull and soothe,
No need to huddle taut and tight,
And lose your nerve and appetite.
The railway gives exhilaration,
And lands you at your destination,
Imbued with “beans” and nicely keyed,
Wherever you intend to feed
On Christmas day, without offence,
At someone else's sole expense.
The method we advise again,
Is “travel in a railway train,”
And keep the appetite intact,
Almost precautionary fact
In times of strict economy,
Considered with gastronomy.
In fact you'll gain such gastric zest,
They'll long to speed the parting guest.

In conclusion, dear reader, the railway is the biggest draw on the Christmas programme, and here's hoping that you'll be on the box seat when the “iron horse” flashes away from the barrier with Steam up.