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The New Zealand Railways Magazine, Volume 6, Issue 1 (May 1, 1931)

Aesthetics and Athletics

Aesthetics and Athletics.

Dear Reader, brains are handy for calculating the penumbra of a cucumber, acerbating the alcoholic aspirations of an isozzlese triuncle, deciphering the symbolic subtleties of the ancient gum-chewers, and propounding the theory of assassinated aspirates. Brain is a useful adjunct to academical ascertainment and is effective in combating the inroads of ignorance; but preponderating platitudinously and with regard to the impotence of adequacy and the unification of the unicorn, over development of the “overhead” at the expense of the undercut, means biological bankruptcy. Likewise, a preponderancy of bovinity with a paucity of perceptivity is equivalent to deductive decapitation, or a state of arrested animation north of the squeakator.

It is notorious that Samson, while excelling at such muscular attainments as pulling the pillars, was incapable of propounding a fallacy or other achievements in the realm of academic gymnastics. Goliath, too, although a man of solid girth, was practically unconscious north of the main trunk. On the other hand, some of the ancient intelli-gents were so bereft of biceps and immune from flesh spots that they eventually fell prey to the athletic jocundities of the musclebound.

Nature teaches that aesthetics and athletics must be embraced bigamously to achieve that perfect balance and joie de glee enjoyed by, say, a pugilistic philosopher, better known perhaps as a pugsloshopher or a mashamatician.