The Dutchman and His Dog.

A Dutchman, addressing his dog, says: “My tog, you haf a snapp. You vas ondly a tog, and I vas a man, but I vish I vas you. You every vay haf de best of it. Ven you go mit to bed you just turn round t'ree times and lay down. Ven I go mit to bed I haf to lock up de place, vind up de clock, put de cat oudt, undress myself, and den my vife up and scold me, and de baby cry, and I valk up and down, and den maybe ven I just go to sleep it's time to get up again.

“Ven you get up you just stretch yourself and den scratch yourself a couple of times and den you vas up. I haf to light de fire, put de kettle on, scrap some vid my vife, and maybe get some breakfast.

“You play all day and haf plenty of vun. I vork all day and haf plenty of drouble. Ven you die you vas dead. Ven I die I'se got to go to hell yet.”

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