A large sunfish, weighing about a ton and a half, has been washed up at Hokitika. One theory is that it had heard of the activities of a distinguished American novelist fisherman, and stranded itself to avoid capture.

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Teacher: “Willie, you're late again, there's no excuse for it.”

Willie: “No sir. I've been standing outside for ten minutes trying to think of one.”

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City girl (staying at farm): “That bull always seems so savage when I go near him.”

Farmer: “It must be on account of that red dress you are wearing.”

City girl: “Well, I know it's terribly out of fashion, but I didn't think a country bull would notice it!”

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