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O Extravaganza! The Great Extrav Reunion Weekend & Capping Revue Revival [1993]

Our Staff - An Appreciation

Our Staff - An Appreciation

On a chair in a College a little Prof. sat-
Claurin! Dickey! Maclaurin!
A lawyer, M.A., LL.D., and all that,
Was Claurin! Richard! Maclaurin!
But the gleam of his eye was as keen as a knife
And some fair mathematicians with clamours were rife
When apart from his charges he chose him a wife,
Did Claurin! Richard! Maclaurin!

On the floor in his classroom a foreigner strode -
Zedlitz! Zedlitz! Von Zedlitz!
But the lingo of some dozen countries he knowed,
Did Zedlitz! Zedlitz! Von Zedlitz!
Tho' his pupils were old and attended but few,
He was held in respect as a golfist and beau,
And his ancestor 'twas wrote the "Midnight Review"
Zedlitz! Baron Von Zedlitz!

Next door might be seen an immaculate Prof.
John Brown! Rankin! O John Brown!
Who method adored and at puns didn't scoff,
Not John Brown! Rankin! Not John Brown
His learning was vast and his versions sublime;
For the man not from Scotia he had'nt much time;
Yet his name is so common it won't fit my rhyme,
John Brown! Johnnie! O John Brown!

How could I forget the most famous of all?
Kenzie! Hughey MacKenzie!
The vastest in bulk tho' as "Von", not so tall
Was Kenzie! Hughey Mackenzie!
He praised lady authors and joked with his class -
If you swot Ango-Saxon you're sure of a pass
But when students grow rowdy he "gets on their brass"
Does Kenzie! Hughey Mackenzie!

A newcomer here that we know little of
Is Hunter-Tommy, young Hunter!
The Chancellor surely should make him a Prof.
Hunter! Hunter! Tom Hunter!
For he's such an enthusiast in his own skill
That his students can't follow him, and never will
While he shows such impatience-it's pard'nable-still
Won't do, Hunter! Young Hunter!

There're others each worth a stanza alone;
There's Easter! Easter! There's Easter!
Field, but his name is too long to intone,
Is Easter-! Easter-field Easter!
There is Kirk who is probing the brain of a frog,
And Richmond, whose lectures would worry a dog-
But we'll make them all go for a fortnight incog.,
At Easter-Easter! next Easter!

Students' Carnival - 1 July, 1904