The Delicate Delinquents

Dear kindly sir and madam, you gotta understand
Our parents we have had 'em, so we gets out of hand
Our mothers all are single, our fathers all are drunks
Golly Moses, naturally we're punks.

Gee, Superintendent, we're very upset.
We never had the love that every child ought a get
We ain't no delinquents, we're misunderstood,
Deep down inside us there is good (there is good)
There is good, there is good, there is untapped good
Right inside the rest of us is good.

That's a touchin' good story, let me tell it to the world.
Just tell it to the magistrate!

Dear kindy, Mr. Scully, my parents treat me wrong
They go off to the pub each night and won't take me along
They didn't want to have me, but somehow I was had
Leave it, listen, that's why I'm so bad!
Right! Superintendent, you're really a square
This boy don't need a judge, he needs an analyst's care
Its just his neurosis that oughta be curbed
He's psychologically disturbed (I'm disturbed)
We're disturbed, we're disturbed, we're the most disturbed
Like we're psychologically disturbed.

Hear ye, hear ye, in the opinion of the court, this child
Is depraved on account of he hasn't had a normal home.
Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived.

My pa's an alcoholic, my mother walks the streets
My grandpa loves a frolic, grandma brews grog from sweets,
My sister wears a moustache, my brother wears a dress,
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess.
Yes! Superintendent you're really a slob
This boy don't need probation, just a good honest job
Society's played him a terrible trick And sociologically he's sick (I am sick)
We are sick, we are sick, we are sick, sick, sick,
Like we're sociologically sick.
In my opinion, this child does not need imprisonment at all,
Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease.

Hey! I got a social disease.
So take him to a social worker!

Vocation guidance bosses, they say go earn some dough,
And not be double crossers, which means like be a schmo,
It's not I'm anti-social, I'm only anti-work,
Glory askey, that's why I'm a jerk!

Gee, Superintendent, we're down on our knees,
'Cos no-one wants a fella with a social disease
Gee, Superintendent, what are we to do?
Else we will end up just like you! Just like you!