A Song To Start The Show

1st student:

What's playing at the Opera House?

2nd student:

I'll tell you what's playing at the Opera House—the greatest show since Sid'olland went to a nightclub in Malaya and let a Singapore him. That's what's playing at the Opera House.

3rd student:

What are you guys doing?

Others:

We'll tell you what we guys are doing. We're keeping the audience amused until they've had time to finish writing the script. That's what we guys are doing.

3rd student:

What's happening back there?

Others:

We'll tell you what's happening back there. The students are preparing an eastern scene that'll knock the spots off Aly Khan's third wife's boudoir—that's what's happening back there.

All:

Yes, when students turn away from the scholastic The result is almost certain to be drastic.

1
Extravaganza's here
Bringing laughter and cheer
So sit back and enjoy the show we have
The dialogue is tame and the lyrics don't rhyme
And the dancing's so bad you'll surely be glad to leave
At half time.

2
You will see a guy
He's an M.P. of course
Giving shady stimulation to a horse
For it's dope the nag's a glutton
And the horse's name is well known
But the guy's only doing it in Extrav.

3
When you smell a gent
With Parisian scent
You can bet that he's stinking about Extrav
For he's been abroad for his countrymen's sake
But he must cease to roam and set out for home
Or his braces will break

4
When you see a guy
Floating out of the sky
You can bet that he's doing it for Extrav
He's a Killer, he's a Slayer
It's the P.M. in Malaya
But the guy's only doing it in Extrav

5
But if you see a joke
Give your neighbour a poke
Or he might miss the solitary gag we have
And if he's getting drowsy
Well you know he thinks we're lousy
But we'll still make him welcome at our Extrav.