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Carry on Phil [1960]

Act 2. Scene 1

Act 2. Scene 1.

The scene is Red Square in Moscow. All the Russian V.I.P.s are present for the welcome to the great Socialist leader of N.Z. As he arrives (by Fokker Friendship, of course) they surge forward to meet him. The Soviet Leader (who, for the purposes of this synopsis shall remain anonymous) makes a speech of welcome and then announces the festivities in Wal's honour will begin. A flamboyant and fabulous ballet dances the dance of the Dying Tractor, starring the great ballerina Keila-nova. When the tumultuous applause has died away. Walter gets up to make a speech of thanks, but unfortunately makes several passing references to Trotsky, Marx and Stalin. These faux pas are viewed with increasing alarm by the Russian officials who at length rush forward, arrest Walter and Mabel and throw them into the dungeons for a fair trial and immediate transfer to the Siberian sait mines and the scene ends.

The Best Things in Life are Red

The moon belongs to Mr. K.,
We're turning the whole world red
And soon he'll own the milky way
We're turning the whole world red
The slave labour camp
The salt mines so damp
Hungarian woe
They're ours you know
Look forward to the promised day
We're turning the whole world red.
We're going to outstrip the West
With nuclear submarines
We've got a nice new H. Bomb Test
To blow you to smithereens
The cold war we'll win
We'll keep East Berlin
Our secret police
Are working for peace
We'll force you all to freedom, yes
The best things in life are red.