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Tram Song

Some talk of taking taxis, some like a smart M.G.
For the bonny Army Lorry, they'd lay them down and dee.
Such means of locomotion seem hardly worth a damn
We much prefer to ride inside
A City Council Tram.

Squeeze very tight please ting ting
When you are lost and lonely and you don't know where you are
You'll hear a voice a-calling pass right along the car,
And very soon you'll find yourself tipped out at Miramar
In a City Council
Multi purpose
Never-quite-filled-up tramcar.

There's nothing quite so healthy for the aged and the infirm
With fresh air circulating you can never catch a germ
The seats are often washed down—yes every time it rains
That irrigated ventilated City Council
Multi purpose
Never-quite-filled-up tramcar.

Earth has not anything to show more fair
Mind the step, mind the step
Earth has not anything to show more fair
Any more fares any more fares.

Approaching intersections a tram's got what it takes
It smoothly starts to speed up then on go all the brakes
It's done so very gently, you can hardly feel the jar
Inside that lady of the road
Observer of the highway code
That irrigated ventilated
City Council multi purpose
Never-quite-filled-up tramcar.

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It stops when it's requested although it spoils the ride
A nice man shouts "get out of it we're full right up inside"
For protests or objections the council seldom cares
So cut down all the sections and put up all the fares
If tickets cost a pound apiece and don't go very far
It's worth it just to ride inside
That dirty big lump of lumbering junk
Inside that hades of the road
Disturber of the highway code
That irritating oscillating
City Council disclocating
Never-try-to-sit-down tramcar.