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A Report on Love

Prof. V.:
Bees do it, plants do it,
Unreluctant debutantes do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love.
Every man who's a sport does it,
Kinsey with a deafening report does it
Let's do it, etc.

Henry Moore's busts do it
Must account for the shapes
Artists in attics do it
Covered up in green drapes.

Monkeys when you look do it,
Ali Khan and King Farouk do it,
Let's do it, etc.

Fish in the streams do it,
Frenchmen in their bedroom scenes do it,
Let's do it, etc.

Actors after applause do it,
Trainees out at Trentham forming fours do it,
Let's do it, etc.

All the prefects from Marsden do it,
They're the tops in their class,
Young boys at school do it
Just to make the time pass.

Soccer players scoring goals do it,
Huntly miners digging holes do it,
Let's do it, etc.

Gobs in their ships do it,
Teddy boys eating fish and chips do it,
Let's do it, etc.

Eskimos in the snows do it,
Folk who visit picture shows do it,
Let's do it, etc.

Councillors in their chambers do it,
Not to mention the Mayor.
Lawyers in wigs do it,
Splitting legal hair.

Every oyster you consume does it,
Even Sydney Holland we assume does it,
Let's do it, etc.