Hypodermichondriacs

Nurse and M.P.'s—
Oh! the Wellington Public Hospital
Is where you see us now;
In an atmosphere of morphine
And hypodermics; Ow!
But the nurses are so pretty
So happy, gay and free,
That the Wellington Public Hospital
Is where we like to be.

Oh! the Wellington Public Hospital
Is such a happy place;
We eat and sleep and loll about,
A smile on every face;
But when it's time for visiting,
We all hop into bed;
If you see us there at other times,
It simply means we're dead.

Oh! the patients all are virile,
The nurses all are cute,
And as for regulations,
No one really gives a hoot
There may be one or two of us,
Who seem a bit distressed,
But the Wellington Public Hospital
Is easily the best.

If I Only had a Brain

Wol—
I'd be able to do justice
To wharfies and railway workers
Who are driving me insane.
I'd draft some Regulations,
To hasten their cremations—
If I only had brain!
When with problems I am grapplin'
I'll not be like Charlie Chaplin—
Solutions would be plain;
I'd liquidate the Tories,
If I only had a brain!
If they could use me I would go to war,
On my cash mounted as a yore,
I'd smash the National line and then some more—
I'd startle populations,
With new-found imprecations,
I'd be myself again;
If my moustache were littler
I could be another Hitler—
If I only had a brain!

Male Ballet

• Tom Garland
• John Rogers
• Peter Chamberlain
• Richard Rawnsley
• B. Chapman
• Graham Hitch
• Tony Ross
• Richard Heine

Gravitas, Simplicitas, Adultery

The Councillors
Coming with a fatherly air,
With the Old Gray Mayor in the chair;
We are all in accord,
With our trust in the Lord,
Coming in with a fatherly air.

Coming in with a fatherly air,
For our fair city's burdens we bear;
And whenever we meet
How we bluster and bleat!
Coming in with a fatherly air.

Yippy ay
We're away
We'll distribute lots of bull's wool here today!

Coming in with a fatherly air;
Our meeting is a fatuous affair;
As we rollick and romp
With municipal pomp,
Coming in with a fatherly air.