Learnin' to Booze

Kruschev—
You drink your first vodka,
You down your first whisky
Your mind starts to wander
And feel kind of frisky
When drink touches your lips
Whatever you choose
You've had your first lesson
In learnin' to booze.

Six dry martinis
With gin squash to follow
You start to enjoy it
You feel yourself wallow,
You're under the table
Making love with your shoes
You don't need a lesson
In learnin' to booze.

You see a pink object
You legs start to quiver
Your mind starts to boggle
Your bones start to shiver
You've got the dry horrors
Your stomach feels blue.
You've had your last lesson
In learnin' to booze.

Chorus—
You're feeling good just like you should
Because quite suddenly you find,
That when you're drunk as any skunk
You leave those deadly blues behind.