Victoria University College. Capping Week May 4th, to May 9th. "Willum the Conk" [1931]
Extravaganza — Willum. The Conk
Extravaganza
Willum. The Conk.
"That we may rehearse most obscenely and courageously."
—Shakespeare.
Herald | H. C. Read |
"When I do ope my lips let No dog bark."
—Shakespeare.
"Bow! Wow!"
—Shaw.
Polonius | H. J. Bishop (Deputy for Mr. Nelson) |
"A right down regular Royal King..'
—Gilbert Regilt.
Mrs. Botts | S. Breen |
"The face that sunk a thousand ships."
—Homer Revisited.
Baby Botts | J. Whitcombe |
"Fragile beginnings of a mighty end."
—Mrs. Norton—wife of Mr. Norton
Nurse | A. A. B. Mouat |
"Death, where is thy sting?"
—Shakespeare.
Willum | R. J. Larkin |
"Nature and earth were deeply writ on his face."
—Atmore's Selections from Living Authors
Convivial Gent | R: East |
"Woe unto them that rise up early in the morning to follow strong drink."
—Author Unknown at University.
page 20Executioner | D. Kerr |
"This hurts me more than it hurts you"
P. Martin-Smith and Others
Dewdrop | L. G. Donald |
"A thousand melodies unheard before."
—Contributed by Orchestra
Lady Trott | J. N. Sellars |
"Sweet and low."
—A. D. Priestley.
Mrs. Stowsh | Miss Shute |
"Shoot if you will this old Grey Head."
—A. L. Capone
Yokels |
T. H. Falloon H. J. Liidemann D. M. Burns |
"What's to be done with these 'ere 'opeless chaps."
—Any Examiner.
Old Ladies |
H. Bannister M. Gallagher B. Luke |
"Hope springs eternal in the Old Maid's Breast."
—Aimee S. MacPherson.
page 21Old Gents |
H. Wansbrough R. B. Phillips |
"You can trust any man—over ninety."
—Clara Bow.
Satan | W. J. Mountjoy, Junr. |
"Coming events cast their joy before."
—Victor Hugo, Junr.
Death | R. J. Lawrence |
"Tell me my soul can this be death?"
—Pope.
Vorbes | H. C. Middlebrook |
Groatz | D. R. Jenkins |
Olland | M. O. Guthrie |
"How would you like this dash tomfoolery
Every day from ten till two?"
—Sir Charles Statham
Agitator | A. F. T. Chorlton |
"What the orator lacks in depth
He gives you in length."
—Montesquieu—fair dinkum.
page 22Drunks |
R. F. East J. M. Horrack |
"There is no doubt that drink's a curse.
To go without is ten times worse.'
—George Troup
Sergeant | D. M. Burns |
"Dressed in a little brief authority."
—McIlgone.
Policemen |
E. J. Sutch H. J. Liidemann |
"The Polis as Polls in this city is Null and Void."
—O'Casey.
Highland Band |
J. H. Etherington R. Heenan |
Merchant of Venice. Act IV. Unexpurgated Ed.
Salvation Army Band |
E. J. Marshall T. Falloon |
"Blessed are they who do good by stealth."
Stychieena | E. Henderson |
"Belladonna—in English a beautiful woman, in Italian a deadly poison."
—Ambrose Bierce.
Colonel Gore | A. P. Thomson |
"There goes the—Tally Ho, the Fox!"
—Hector Gray
page 23Stranger | L. G. Donald |
"I know thee not, I fear thee not."
—Made this one up.
Sentinels |
F. H. Stewart K. J. Duff |
"There is a significant Latin proverb, to wit, who will guard the guards?"
—Reardon on Latin Proverbs...
Discord | E. J. Sutch |
Distrust | J. M. Horrack |
Devastation | H. C. Read |
Despair | S. Breen |
"Hell is a city much like Wellington."
—Nearly Byron—who ought to have known.
Mephistopholis | H. C. Middlebrook |
"Son, if you want to know what a devil is, ask your mother."
—Mr. Russell.
Lucifino | W. J. Montjoy, Jun. |
"Birds of a feather moult together."
—Anon.
page 24Bluster | H. C. Read |
"Words, words, words."
(Sounds like William S. at his best.)
Cat | D. Kerr |
"Not a woman this time.'
Salamanca | C. M. Turner and A. A. B. Mouat |
"Fairest and Loveliest of created things."
—More Shakespearian Bilge.
Servant | B. H. Etherington |
"A pampered menial drove me from the door."
—Income Tax Department.
Lord Blordslow | A. F. T. Chorlton |
"He came from a farm, and was proud of it."
—Lady B.
Soloist | H. Dowling |
"A voice heavenly in the sense of unearthliness."
—Anon.