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Victoria College Students' Carnival. Tuesday and Wednesday, June 27 & 28, 1911

A Martial Ode

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A Martial Ode.

"War is a brain-spattering, windpipe-slitting art."—Byron.

Sir Joseph said to me one day,
"No more for peace need England pray,
Now Kaiser Bill can shut up shop;
This time we've caught him on the hop
Going to have an army,
Going to have an army,
Going to have an army,
A hundred thousand men."

Said I to Joseph, "My dear man,
Pray now unfold your little plan;
It won't succeed, for this I ken,
Ye'll not get half a hundred men.
They'll point to 'Rule Britannia,'
For Britons won't be slaves."

Said he, "Don't let that worry you,
Old Joseph knows a thing or two,
For if you will just kindly note,
The conscripts do not have a vote.
Oh, what a stroke of cunning,
They're under twenty-one.

"And when they safely are enrolled,
We'll show the beggars how they're sold,
We'll tear the Scotchies' kilts to rags,
And clothe their legs in khaki "bags,"
What fun to see a Scotchman,
Without his little kilts.

The General is a Godley man,
Which sanctifies my warlike plan.
Field-Marshall Beere would lead, but he
Is off to see King George with me,
Off to the Coronation:
How all the girls will stare.

"Now, if the Japs. invade our shores,
I'll stay at home and frame new laws,
To make the children take up arms,
And keep us men from War's alarms.
So now I'm off to England,
To see King George again."