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Victoria College Students' Carnival. Tuesday and Wednesday, June 27 & 28, 1911

The Emperor's Lament

page 15

The Emperor's Lament.

I'm a gone King, I'm a goner,—
Oh I am upon my honour!
I had thought to be a Kaiser
(Though considerably wiser),
But there's been a fall in stocks,—
And I'm right upon the rocks.
I imagined I was clever,
But the money's gone for ever;
With my worries treason mingles,—
They would blow me through the shingles—
I'm a hen-pecked king.

I've a dark past, that is certain;
But o'er that I'll draw the curtain.
I was fond of hops and horses,
Getting married and divorces;
And my counsellor is dead,—
I think he lost his head.
The future seems no brighter
I'm a miserable blighter,
And these sinners here would sack me,
They are itching to attack me—
I'm a martyred King.

Mine's a bad case matrimonial,
Oh it is, on my colonial;
I have found that little Cupid
Is a sluggard and a stupid.
Wretched luck has soured my look,
Not a damsel can I hook;
I have passed through all the stages,
I have tried them of all ages.
My complexion I have tinted
And my breath I've pepperminted—
Poor rejected King.

Chorus:
Rejected King,
I'm a jilted, side-stepped spark;
Although I'm quite a lady-bird
They take me for a lark.
Many Ma's from time to time,
Have had me on the string
Uneaught, uncornered I remain
A Single King.

"We often hear that it is a sad thing to have to die,—a strange complaint to come from those who have had to live."

Mark Twain.