page 37

Captain's Song.

"We are members of a secret society,
Working by the moon's uncertain disc;
Our motto is 'Revenge without anxiety'—
That is, without unnecessary risk."

—"The Mountebanks."

Air: "I am the very pattern of a modern Major-Gineral" in "Pirate of Penzance."

Capt. :
I am the bold commander of a troop I'm quite devoted to,
'Tis to my boldness that I owe the rank I've been promoted to;
I am the true successor both of Caesar and of Hannibal—
I have no fear of Japanese, of Kaiser, or of cannibal.
I know just what a Colonel does and where a General's duties lie,
(A General's uniform's the thing to catch a College beauty's eye),
Of military genius of course you know I have a lot—
(Bothered for next rime)—have a lot—have a lot —
(Struck with an idea)
I know by heart the tactics both of Bannockburn and Gravelotte,

(Joyously):
I know by heart the tactics both of Bannockburn and Gravelotte,

All:
He knows by heart the tactics of Bannockburn and Gravelotte.

Capt. :
I'm keen on getting in recruits, and always make 'em serve a lot,
At tennis too I'm not so bad—I cause the ball to swerve a lot.
In fact I am a model for ambitious young New Zealanders,
Both native-born and immigrants, from Cingalese to Hielanders.

All:
In fact he is a model for ambitious young New Zealanders,
Both native-born and immigrants, from Cingalese to Hielanders.

Capt.:
In law I've collared all the trade; 'tis really almost humorous
To think of LL.B.'s as scarce—they formerly were numerous.
In cross-examination I'm a regular Inquisitor,
To keep in form I make a point of "charging" every visitor.
I always was a ladies' man—I'm famed for my urbanity.
Which backs me up if things go wrong and Majors use profanity,
Such wicked words as "drat" and "blow," I never heard of them afore—
(Bothered for next rime)—them afore—them afore—(Struck with an idea)
When I'm a general I shall always say such things by Semaphore.

(Joyously) :
When I'm a general I shall always say such things by Semaphore.

All:
When he's a general he will always say such things by Semaphore.

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Capt. :
I know the ins and outs of torts, of ping pong and topography,
I am an expert in the arts of swimming and geography.
In fact I am a model for ambitious young New Zealanders,
Both native-born and immigrants, from Cingalese to Hielanders.

All:
In fact he is a model for ambitious young New Zealanders,
Both native-born and immigrants from Cingalese to Hielanders.

Capt.:
I am, whatever I take up, I say in all humility,
From Euclid to Diabolo, unrivalled in ability,
When on parade my uniform is always most immaculate,
Bad words, as I remarked before, I never do ejaculate.
My corps is famed throughout the land, its discipline is beautiful
(I always like to see recruits obedient and dutiful).
In war I do the wisest thing—I seek a sheltering stone apart—
(Bothered for next rime)—stone apart—stone apart—
(Struck with an idea)
And safely ponder o'er the fact that I'm the modern Bonaparte.

(Joyously):
And safely ponder o'er the fact that I'm the modern Bonaparte.

All:
And safely ponder o'er the fact that he's the modern Bonaparte.

Capt. :
I'd make a first-class donkey-man, bus-driver or grammarian,
Already I'm a martinet and strictly vegetarian.
In fact I am a model for ambitious young New Zealanders,
Both native-born and immigrants, from Cingalese to Hielanders.

All:
In fact he is the model for ambitious young New Zealanders,
Both native-born and immigrants, from Cingalese to Hielanders.